‘Without you, God knows what would have happened! You’re so lucky, Anna!’ said Dolly. ‘Everything in your soul is clear and good.’
‘Each of us has his skeletons in his soul, as the English say.’
‘What skeletons do you have? Everything’s so clear with you.’
‘There are some,’ Anna said suddenly and, unexpectedly after her tears, a sly, humorous smile puckered her lips.
‘Well, then they’re funny, your skeletons, and not gloomy,’ Dolly said, smiling.
‘No, they’re gloomy. Do you know why I’m going today and not tomorrow? It’s a confession that has been weighing on me, and I want to make it to you,’ Anna said, resolutely sitting back in the armchair and looking straight into Dolly’s eyes.
And, to her surprise, Dolly saw Anna blush to the ears, to the curly black ringlets on her neck.
‘Yes,’ Anna went on. ‘Do you know why Kitty didn’t come for dinner? She’s jealous of me. I spoiled ... I was the reason that this ball was a torment for her and not a joy. But really, really, I’m not to blame, or only a little,’ she said, drawing out the word ‘little’ in a thin voice.
‘Ah, how like Stiva you said that!’ Dolly laughed.
Anna became offended.
‘Oh, no, no! I’m not like Stiva,’ she said, frowning. ‘I’m telling you this because I don’t allow myself to doubt myself even for a moment.’
But the moment she uttered these words, she felt that they were wrong; she not only doubted herself, but felt excitement at the thought of Vronsky, and was leaving sooner than she had wanted only so as not to meet him any more.
‘Yes, Stiva told me you danced the mazurka with him, and he ...’
‘You can’t imagine how funny it came out. I had only just thought of matchmaking them, and suddenly it was something quite different. Perhaps against my own will I ...’
She blushed and stopped.
‘Oh, they feel it at once!’ said Dolly.
‘But I’d be desperate if there were anything serious here on his part,’ Anna interrupted her. ‘And I’m sure it will all be forgotten, and Kitty will stop hating me.’
‘Anyhow, Anna, to tell you the truth, I don’t much want this marriage for Kitty. It’s better that it come to nothing, if he, Vronsky, could fall in love with you in one day.’
‘Ah, my God, that would be so stupid!’ said Anna, and again a deep blush of pleasure came to her face when she heard the thought that preoccupied her put into words. ‘And so I’m leaving, having made an enemy of Kitty, whom I came to love so. Ah, she’s such a dear! But you’ll set things right, Dolly? Yes?’
Dolly could hardly repress a smile. She loved Anna, but she enjoyed seeing that she, too, had weaknesses.
‘An enemy? That can’t be.’
‘I so wish you would all love me as I love you. And now I’ve come to love you still more,’ she said with tears in her eyes. ‘Ah, how stupid I am today!’
She dabbed her face with her handkerchief and began to dress.
Late, just before her departure, Stepan Arkadyich arrived, with a red and merry face, smelling of wine and cigars.
Anna’s emotion communicated itself to Dolly, and as she embraced her sister-in-law for the last time, she whispered:
‘Remember this, Anna: I will never forget what you did for me. And remember that I’ve loved and will always love you as my best friend!’
‘I don’t understand why,’ said Anna, kissing her and hiding her tears.
‘You’ve understood and understand me. Good-bye, my lovely!’
XXIX
‘Well, it’s all over, and thank God!’ was the first thought that came to Anna Arkadyevna when she had said good-bye for the last time to her brother, who stood blocking the way into the carriage until the third bell. She sat down in her plush seat beside Annushka and looked around in the semi-darkness of the sleeping car.40 ‘Thank God, tomorrow I’ll see Seryozha and Alexei Alexandrovich, and my good and usual life will go on as before.’
