‘Anna, is this you?’ Alexei Alexandrovich said in a low voice, making an effort and restraining the movement of his hands.
‘But what is all this?’ she said with sincere and comical surprise. ‘What do you want from me?’
Alexei Alexandrovich paused and rubbed his forehead and eyes with his hand. He saw that instead of what he had wanted to do, that is, warn his wife about a mistake in the eyes of society, he was involuntarily worrying about something that concerned her conscience and was struggling with some wall that he had imagined.
‘Here is what I intend to say,’ he went on coldly and calmly, ‘and I ask you to listen to me. As you know, I look upon jealousy as an insulting and humiliating feeling, and I would never allow myself to be guided by it. But there are certain laws of propriety against which one cannot trespass with impunity. I did not notice it this evening, but judging by the impression made upon the company, everyone noticed that you behaved and bore yourself not quite as one might wish.’
‘I really don’t understand,’ said Anna, shrugging her shoulders. ‘He doesn’t care,’ she thought. ‘But society noticed and that troubles him.’
‘You’re unwell, Alexei Alexandrovich,’ she added, stood up, and was about to go out of the door, but he moved forward as if wishing to stop her.
His face was ugly and sullen, as Anna had never seen it before. She stopped and, leaning her head back to one side, with her quick hand began taking out her hairpins.
‘Well, sir, I’m listening for what comes next,’ she said calmly and mockingly. ‘And even listening with interest, because I wish to understand what it’s all about.’
She spoke and was surprised by the naturally calm, sure tone with which she spoke and her choice of words.
‘I have no right to enter into all the details of your feelings, and generally I consider it useless and even harmful,’ Alexei Alexandrovich began. ‘Rummaging in our souls, we often dig up something that ought to have lain there unnoticed. Your feelings are a matter for your conscience; but it is my duty to you, to myself, and to God, to point out your duties to you. Our lives are bound together, and bound not by men but by God. Only a crime can break this bond, and a crime of that sort draws down a heavy punishment.’
‘I don’t understand a thing. Ah, my God, and unfortunately I’m sleepy!’ she said, quickly running her hand over her hair, searching for any remaining hairpins.
‘Anna, for God’s sake, don’t talk like that,’ he said meekly. ‘Perhaps I am mistaken, but believe me, what I am saying I say as much for myself as for you. I am your husband and I love you.’
For a moment her face fell and the mocking spark in her eye went out; but the word ‘love’ again made her indignant. She thought: ‘Love? But can he love? If he hadn’t heard there was such a thing as love, he would never have used the word. He doesn’t even know what love is.’
‘Alexei Alexandrovich, really, I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘Explain what it is you find ...’
‘Please allow me to finish. I love you. But I am not speaking of myself. The main persons here are our son and yourself. It may well be, I repeat, that my words will seem completely unnecessary and inappropriate to you; it may be that they are caused by an error on my part. In that case I beg you to pardon me. But if you yourself feel that there are even the slightest grounds, I beg you to think and, if your heart speaks, to tell me ...’
Alexei Alexandrovich, not noticing it himself, was saying something quite other than what he had prepared.
‘There’s nothing for me to tell. And...’ she suddenly said quickly, with a barely restrained smile, ‘really, it’s time for bed.’
Alexei Alexandrovich sighed and, saying no more, went into the bedroom.
When she came into the bedroom, he was already lying down. His lips were sternly compressed, and his eyes were not looking at her. Anna got into her own bed and waited every minute for him to begin talking to her again. She feared that he would, and at the same time she wanted it. But he was silent. For a long time she waited motionless and then forgot about him. She was thinking about another man, she could see him, and felt how at this thought her heart filled with excitement and criminal joy. Suddenly she heard a steady, peaceful nasal whistling. At first, Alexei Alexandrovich seemed startled by this whistling and stopped; but after two breaths the whistling began again with a new, peaceful steadiness.
‘It’s late now, late, late,’ she whispered with a smile. She lay for a long time motionless, her eyes open, and it seemed to her that she herself could see them shining in the darkness.
X
