“I don’t know. I don’t really believe in that sort of stuff, Graciela. I don’t know what I’d say to her.”
She just looked at him and it cut him that he thought he saw disapproval in her eyes.
“Graciela… I saw too many bad things and bad people to believe in that stuff. How can there be angels out there or up there when people do the kinds of things they do down here?”
She still didn’t say anything and he knew her silence was a judgment.
“How ’bout I think about it and let you know?”
“Fine,” she finally said.
“Don’t be upset.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I got you involved in this and I know it’s a big intrusion. I don’t know what I thought. I guess I just thought you’d…”
“Look, don’t worry about it. I’m doing it now for me as much as you. Okay? Just don’t give up hope. Like I said, there’s still a few things I’m going to do and Winston isn’t going to let this drop, either. Give me a few days. If I get stalled out, maybe then we’ll go see Mrs. Otero. Okay?”
She nodded but he could tell she was disappointed.
“She was such a good kid,” she said after a while. “Having Raymond changed everything for her. She straightened up, moved in with me and just got her priorities right. She was going to school in the mornings at Cal State. That’s why she had that night job. She was smart. She wanted to get into the other side of the newspaper business. Be a reporter.”
He nodded and kept silent. He knew it was good for her to keep talking like this.
“She would have been good at it. I think. She cared about people. I mean, look at her. She was a volunteer. After the riots she went down to South-Central to help clean up. After the earthquake she came into the hospital to just be in the ER and tell people it would be okay. She was an organ donor. She gave blood-anytime any hospital called and said they needed blood, she came in. That rare blood… well, she was rarer. Sometimes I really wish I could’ve traded places and that it was me who went into that store.”
He reached over and put his arm around her shoulders in a comforting manner.
“Come on,” he said. “Look at all the people you help at the hospital. And look at Raymond. You’re going to be great for him. You can’t think about who was more worthy or about switching places. What happened to her shouldn’t have happened to anyone.”
“But all I know is Raymond having his own mother would’ve been better than me.”
There was no way to argue with her. He moved his arm and put his hand on her neck. She wasn’t crying but she looked like she might start. He wanted to console her but knew there was only one way he could do that.
They were almost to his dock. Raymond was waiting at the security gate, which was open a couple of inches as usual. The spring return was rusted and the gate never closed on its own.
“We should go,” Graciela said when they caught up to the boy. “It’s getting late and you have school.”
“What about the fishing pole?” Raymond protested.
“Mr. McCaleb can take care of that. Now thank him for the fishing and the dinner and the ice cream.”
Raymond put out his little hand and McCaleb shook it again. It was cold and sticky.
“It’s Terry. And look, we’ll do some real fishing soon. As soon as I get the boat going. We’ll take it out then and we’ll catch you a big one. I know a spot on the other side of Catalina. This time of year, we’ll catch calico bass. Lots of them. We’ll go there, okay?”
Raymond nodded silently as if he guessed it would never happen. It sent a shiver of sadness through McCaleb. He looked at Graciela.
“How about Saturday? The boat won’t be ready but you guys could come down in the morning and we could fish off the jetty. You could stay over if you want. Plenty of room.”
“Yeah!” Raymond cried.
“Well,” Graciela said, “let’s see how the rest of the week goes.”
McCaleb nodded, realizing the mistake he had just made. Graciela opened the passenger door of her Rabbit convertible and the boy got in. She came over to McCaleb after closing the door.
“Sorry about that,” he said in a low voice. “I guess I shouldn’t have suggested that in front of him.”
“It’s all right,” she said. “I’d like to do it but I might have to juggle some things, so let’s wait and see. Unless you need to know for sure right now.”
“No, that’s fine. Just let me know.”
She took a step closer to him and held out her hand to shake.
“Thank you very much for tonight,” she said. “He’s quiet most of the time but I think he enjoyed it and I know I did.”
McCaleb took her hand and shook it but then she leaned into him, brought her face up and kissed him on the cheek. As she stepped back, she brought her hand to her mouth.
“Bristly,” she said with a smile. “Are you growing a beard?”
“Thinking about it.”
This made her laugh for some reason. She walked around the car and he followed so he could hold open the door. When she was in her seat, she looked up at him.
“You know, you should believe in them,” she said.
He looked down at her.
“You mean angels?”
She nodded. He nodded back. She started the car and drove off.
