In my white suit, my boater, with my silver-headed cane, I would take a Sunday stroll along the banks of the river. I would hire a carriage to go for picnics in the countryside with Mother and Captain Brown. Esmé returned on leave, looking exhausted and thinner than I remembered. For once I was able to be of use to her. Rather than have her suffering the discomfort of our apartment, I decided she must stay at a good hotel,
At six she was wearing a perfect blue dress, a fashionable matching head-band, feathers, ‘tango’ shoes. She wore little makeup, and her large blue eyes looked lovely in their setting of pink and gold. I was proud to be seen with her as our carriage took us to Tsarskaya Square and one of the best restaurants in Kiev. She tasted course after course, but was unable to eat very much because of the excitement. ‘They told me everyone was starving at home!’
‘Not everyone,’ I said. ‘The food is simply not getting to the soldiers. So it has to be eaten.’ I told her I knew of people who made special trips to Moscow and Petrograd with just a couple of baskets of provisions. They came home almost millionaires.
‘Is that how you’re living?’ she asked.
‘Good God, no! I’m doing proper work.’ I was rather hurt by the suggestion. She became apologetic. I poured her more French wine and calmed her. ‘I’ve taken over Sarkis Mihailovitch’s business. The profiteers, you could say, are giving me my profits. But mostly they’re honest enough. Everyone buys and sells something. Have you seen the markets? Bessarabskaya? A Contract Fair going all year round! Peasants bring their produce to the city because no one can get to the country. They drive whole herds into Kiev. And you can obtain literally anything in the Bessarabskaya.’ I was too delicate to do more than suggest my meaning, but she understood. Working amongst soldiers had evidently given her a knowledge of the world.
A band started to play. It was Gypsy music, very sad. Esmé began to relax. She was immensely beautiful now, in her prime as a girl. I still considered her a sister. I could not regard her as a sexual partner. I wished her to keep her virginity. I could now help her marry well. I was a brother and a father to her. I wanted to do for her what her father would have wished. A number of my friends and business acquaintances saw us together. I was winked at more than once and when Esmé was not in earshot I was congratulated. I explained nothing. It suited me to be seen with her. When the War was over I would need to give dinners to great industrialists. Esmé would make a perfect hostess. I could employ her in my firm. I had begun to evolve what the Germans call ‘a lifeplan’. I would model myself as far as possible on Thomas Edison, the American inventor and entrepreneur. My name would become as famous throughout Europe as his was in his native land. It would become a synonym for progress and enlightenment, possibly mentioned in the same breath as Galileo and Newton. But I would be practical. I would keep control of my own patents. I spoke to Esmé of this and of certain details I had already worked out. ‘You will be a full partner,’ I told her. ‘It is only fair. Your encouragement, and mother’s, made me what I am.’
She looked down at her plate and she smiled a little, ‘I had aspirations to become a doctor,’ she told me. ‘I think I have a vocation.’
‘And perhaps Captain Brown could become a laundress!’ The humour was meant to be harmless. The image of my feminine Esmé in mannish suits, carrying a doctor’s bag, was ludicrous. ‘Why not? Anything is possible in the New Russia!’ I parodied a popular phrase of the Provisional Government. I changed the subject: ‘There’s talk of mutiny. Will you be safe at the Front?’
She looked up and laughed spontaneously. ‘Safer than walking up Kreshchatik. Dear Maxim. The soldiers are like children. You get the odd agitator, of course. But their loyalty depends on respect. If they like an officer, or a nurse, they’ll do anything for them. Conditions are unspeakable. They’re so grateful if you merely wipe the sweat from their foreheads. They’re honest, decent, Russian lads.’
‘All the virtues you mention can become vices overnight.’
She did not want to listen. She frowned and shook her head.
‘Children can turn against you,’ I said.
‘We’re their nanyanas. They trust us. They know we suffer as they do. They know we volunteered to help them.’
I called for the bill. She had reassured me a little. But she was still innocent.
