57 Add: All this mental illness of ours occurred simply because we lived immorally. We suffered from our immoral life, and to smother our suffering we committed various abnormal acts – just what those doctors call “indications of mental disease” – hysterics. The cure for these illnesses does not lie with Charcot, nor with them. It cannot be cured by any suggestions or bromides, but it is necessary to recognize what the pain comes from. It is like sitting down on a nail: if you notice the nail, or see what is wrong in your life and cease to do it, the pain will cease and there will be nothing to smother. The wrongness of our life caused the pain, caused my torments of jealousy and my need of going out shooting, of cards, and above all of wine and tobacco to keep myself in a constant state of intoxication. From that wrongness of life arose also her passionate relation to all her occupations, her instability of mood – now gloomy, now terribly gay, – and her volubility – it all came from the constant need of diverting her attention from herself and her life. It was a constant intoxication with this or that work, which always had to be done in a hurry.
58 Add: Unhappy people can get on better in town.
59 Instead of the following line, read: Divorce, well then divorce!” My sister-in-law would not admit that idea.
60 Read: but I have bound myself by my own words.
61 Read: disliked him and understood that he was a dirty adulterer, and I began to be jealous of him even before he saw my wife.
62 Read: why, in the important events of our life, in those which decide a man’s fate – as mine was decided then – why, there is no distinction between past and future.
63 Instead of the following three lines, read: I had a consciousness of some terrible calamity connected with that man. But for all that I could not help being affable with him.
64 Read: He played excellently, with a strong and tender tone; difficulties did not exist for him. As soon as he began to play his face altered, became serious and far more sympathetic; he was of course a much better player than my wife and helped her simply and naturally.
65 Read: … simple and pleasant. During the whole evening I seemed not only to the others, but to myself, to be solely interested in the music, while in reality I was unceasingly tormented by jealousy. From the first moment that his eyes met my wife’s I saw that he looked at her as at a woman who was not unpleasant and with whom on occasion it would not be unpleasant to have a liaison. Had I been pure I should not have thought about what he might think of her, but like most men I also thought about women, and therefore understood him and was tormented by it.
66 Read: his restrained voice and her refusal. She seemed to say “but no”, and something more. It was as if someone was intentionally smothering the words. My God, what then arose in me! What I imagined!
67 Add: She will disgrace me! I will go away – but I can’t.
68 Add: and advised me to see it out.
69 Add: A husband ought not to think so, and still less should he shove his nose in and hinder things.
70 Read: graceful, indolent, subtle figure,
71 Add: or something of that kind about my character.
72 Instead of the next six lines, read: and I turned her round and gave her a violent push. “What is the matter with you? Recollect yourself!” said she.
73 Add: rolling my eyes.
74 Read: I restrained myself and
75 Add: We sent for the doctor, and I attended her all night.
76 Add: … not so much on account of my wife’s assurances, as on account of the tormenting suffering I had experienced from my jealousy.
77 Add: He went to fetch his violin. My wife went to the piano and began selecting the music.
78 Add: and long remained silent.
79 Add: In this new condition jealousy had no place.
80 Add: That music drew me into some world in which jealousy no longer had place. Jealousy and the feeling that evoked it seemed trifles not worth considering.
81 Instead of the next eleven lines, read: I hardly felt jealous all the evening. I had to go to the Meetings in two days’ time, and he, when leaving, collected all his music and inquired when I should be back, as he wished to say goodbye before his own departure.… It appeared that I should hardly be back before he left Moscow, so we bade one another a definite good-bye.
82 Add: We spoke in very general terms of the impressions produced by the music, but we were nearer and more friendly to one another that evening, in a way we had seldom been of late.
83 Read: while it was still dark,
84 Add: and as if I should drive on like that to the end of my life and of the world,
85 Add: which was quite a new one,
86 Add: one more cynical than another,
87 Add: forgetting that there was no ground for this.
