‘You just let go, my darling. Like a big stone you have carried up a steep mountain … it’s been dragging you down … but now, let it go and watch it rolling away, and you feel light and free as a bird.’
She spoke passionately, and TammyLee listened intently, shaking her head a little.
‘Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to listen to Tallulah,’ said Roxanne, and both girls kept still and quiet. Overjoyed to have a listener, I told Roxanne everything. How I, the Queen of Cats, had come here to reunite a mother with her baby, how I had found Rocky and kept him warm, as a tiny baby. Then, how I’d found him again and didn’t know how I could convey information to TammyLee. I asked Roxanne to tell her.
What I didn’t expect was the shattering effect it would have on TammyLee.
Chapter Ten
NEVER, NEVER, EVER
Roxanne was hesitating to speak the words I’d given her. She was trying to change its meaning. I sighed and patted her face with my paw.
‘So, what is Tallulah telling you?’ asked TammyLee, her eyes wide open and thirsty for the information.
‘She’s … giving me a name …’ said Roxanne, carefully, and she put a hand on TammyLee’s arm.
‘A name? What name?’
‘Rocky.’
TammyLee stiffened, her aura turning to hard bright steel, like a suit of armour.
‘So … what about Rocky?’ she asked after a long pause.
‘I … I’m not sure I should tell you … it … well … it might be painful for you, darling,’ said Roxanne kindly, and I gave her concerned face another pat – ‘but Tallulah wants me to. It’s important to her, and she’s been frustrated because she can’t tell you.’
‘Tell me what?’
I paid attention to the intense eye contact between the two women, and the way TammyLee looked like a child on the edge of a stormy sea, afraid, but wanting to go in.‘Tallulah is the Queen of Cats in the spirit world,’ said Roxanne. ‘Are you comfortable with that kind of stuff?’
‘Yeah … I mean … well, she would be, wouldn’t she?’ TammyLee smiled. ‘I always knew she was magic.’
I stepped gently on to her lap, and curled up there, doing the most calming kind of purr I could muster. She had to listen. I would keep her still and quiet.
‘Is that it then?’ asked TammyLee.
‘No … there’s more … about Rocky.’
‘Go on.’
‘Tallulah wants you to know she saved Rocky’s life when he was a tiny baby. She stayed all night with him and kept him warm.’
TammyLee gasped. I looked at her eyes and they were flooded with fear that seemed to be erupting from some deep dark well in her soul. I cuddled close.
‘There’s more,’ said Roxanne. ‘This cat is like a guardian angel.’
‘Go on.’
‘Tallulah came here to support you, TammyLee. She adores you. And … and …’
‘Oh, I know that. I adore her.’
TammyLee relaxed for a second, and took a deep breath. Roxanne was still staring at her intently, and, in the moment of silence, I could hear Amber coming upstairs. Her nails clicked along the landing and she peeped round the door.
‘Aw … look at that,’ said Roxanne. ‘Is this Amber? Isn’t she beautiful? She’s come to love you.’
Amber sidled up to TammyLee and sat down, leaning her warm bulk against her legs.
‘She knows,’ said TammyLee, stroking the dog’s silky ears.
‘Animals do. They know, and they forgive, and they don’t judge us.’
‘So … what else did Tallulah tell you?’
‘She wants you to know that she has found Rocky, and, when the time is right, she will lead you to him.’
I’d thought TammyLee would be pleased, but she wasn’t. She went white. Her eyes hardened and she stood up and put me back on Roxanne’s lap. She looked at the window, and the door and up at the ceiling. Then she stalked over to the open door, slammed it shut and turned to face us, leaning against it. Her knees were shaking and her green eyes shone like the river water.
‘Don’t tell my dad,’ she pleaded in a whisper, ‘or my mum. Or anyone. If you tell anyone about Rocky, I’ll kill myself. I mean it.’
She was shaking so hard it made the door rattle. We all looked at her … Roxanne, Amber and me … and in that moment, I saw TammyLee’s angel holding her in a cocoon of misty light, and the angel looked sad.
‘Don’t worry … I won’t.’ Roxanne didn’t look surprised at all.
‘Thanks.’ TammyLee moved away from the door and went to the mirror. She started coiling her hair into a bun and wiping the smudges off her checks with a round white pad she took from a pot. ‘I’ve been in such a state all day,’ she said, ‘and I’ve got my GCSE maths exam on Monday andmy mum to look after. I’ve gotta get my act together. I have to stay functional … I can’t fall apart.’ She leaned close to the mirror and brushed mascara onto her eyelashes, acting as if she didn’t care and didn’t want us around.
‘I’d better go.’ Roxanne gave me a kiss and put me down next to Amber.
‘Yeah … thanks, Roxanne. Appreciate it,’ said TammyLee, but she didn’t glance up from the mirror.
‘I’ll come again if you need me.’
‘Cool. Might do.’
‘Are you sure you’re OK?’
‘Yeah … I’m good.’