Abruptly, Remo knew what it was. “This all about profits, Chiun?”
“We established that long ago, did we not?”
“I guess so. Wait.” Remo changed his mind.
“It is about gold and nothing but gold.”
“Not gold. You’re shilling for your sweetie!”
“You speak nonsense words and expect me to know their meaning.”
“I’m talking about the queen of England. You know, the lady with the little black purse that she carries everywhere she goes? I know what’s in that purse, Chiun.”
“You know nothing.”
It hadn’t been that long ago that Chiun and Remo had been in the presence of the queen of England, during the Time of Succession. Although Remo long ago achieved the rank of Master of Sinanju, through the Rite of Attainment, he was not the Reigning Master until he went through the Rite of Succession. Both were ancient Sinanju rituals, and as far as Remo was concerned the succession was a lot of stuff to be done because it had always been done that way. The procedures of the Rite of Attainment were more cold-blooded, and more practical in that they greatly benefited the new Reigning Master at the start of his career.
The ritual required that each designated head of state—be he monarch, despot or bureaucrat—be sent an invitation to participate in the ritual. As a way of welcoming the Sinanju Master to his commanding role, each nation leader would allow the new Master into his court and offer him the challenge of battling the greatest assassin the country had to offer.
It was a battle to the death. The Sinanju Master won—always.
Not only did this serve to remind the world of the glorious Sinanju dynasty, and prove to all doubters that the new Sinanju Master was up to snuff, but it also effectively removed the competition.
Remo’s succession challenges had been sidetracked, but not before his ritual audience with the queen of England. Truth be told, they had rubbed each other the wrong way from the moment they laid eyes on each other. He called her “hairdo”; she tried to stab him in the neck with a poised needle the size of tent stake.
Still, there was no excuse for engaging in royal purse-snatching, which is just what he did next. He stole the queen of England’s purse and dumped its contents on the floor of the dingy old room in the moldy old palace.
“I’ve always wanted to know what the hell’s so important you gotta schlep this around all the time.”
To his surprise, the only thing that came out was a tiny, framed picture of a much younger Chiun.
If she’d chosen that moment to try to stick a poison dart in his aorta, she just might have accomplished it.
He was flabbergasted. It still made him wonder—and made him realize again that the old Master of Sinanju had done a lot of living in the seventy-odd years before he began training Remo Williams.
“You still have a thing for your little queenie,” Remo said aloud. “That’s why you’re all in favor of giving the power back to the throne of England.”
Chiun’s face grew redder and redder. “Wrong.”
“I knew it.”
‘Wrong. I say you are wrong. Please respect me when I say to you that you are wrong.”
“I’m not wrong. Sometimes you say I’m wrong and I’m sure I really am wrong and sometimes I say I’m wrong and I think that maybe I might be wrong and sometimes I say I’m wrong and I know I’m right but I think that maybe after I stop being mad about what I’m right about I might stop and reconsider and realize I was wrong all along but sometimes I know I’m not wrong.”
“Sometimes you babble like an infant.”
“This time I’m not wrong, and I know I’m not wrong. You want your sweetums to get her empire back.”
Chiun walked along glum and silent and pink-cheeked. “Are you in cahoots?”
“I am in my robe and sandals.”
“Are you in cahoots with the queen of England, I mean?”
“Certainly not! Do you speak of novelty underwear for sex-crazed couples to wear together?”
“Cahoots means working together. Are you and the queen of England scheming together to make this whole British Empire business happen?”
“No. I am doing nothing with the queen of England.”
“Not even pining?”
“Remo, you know nothing of the matters of which you speak. Kindly quit speaking of them.”
Remo shrugged and nodded. “Okay, but I was right about being right, so how am I right if I’m not right about you cahooting with the queen? What I’m saying is, you think this whole recolonization effort is a good idea.”
Chiun was simply relieved that the conversation was steering in a new direction. “Of course. Any right-thinking watcher of the world understands the power of empire. Empires endure. Egypt. Rome. England. Each provided stability that can never be matched in a world of democracy.”
“We’ve been going strong for about 230 years.”
“Egypt endured for three thousand years.”
“Egypt got a head start. Check back with me in 2,770 years and then we can compare oranges to oranges.”
