Knutas was starting to feel a bit drunk. He was worn out after all the events of the past week, and it was nice to be sitting in the midst of the Stockholm hustle and bustle, drinking wine with Karin.
‘That’s possible,’ he said. ‘But I don’t think we’re going to get any further tonight. I need to put aside everything from work and just relax. Would you like some more wine?’
‘Sure.’
On his way to the bar, Knutas phoned Lina. He was feeling guilty about going off to Stockholm the minute they got back from their holiday in the country, and on top of that deciding to spend the night in the capital. He also felt guilty because it was so pleasant to be sitting here in the restaurant with Karin, far away from everyone and everything. Annoyed, he ordered another bottle of wine. What was wrong with him? He had no reason on earth to feel guilty. During all the years of their marriage, and they would soon celebrate their twentieth anniversary, he had never been unfaithful to Lina. His relationship with Karin was strictly professional. Only on one occasion had something like a sexual attraction occurred, and that was last summer when he had ended up at Karin’s flat after a night of drinking. All they did was sit on her sofa and listen to the Weeping Willows band while they drank champagne, but suddenly there was something in the air, something new between them that had scared Knutas. It made him so uncomfortable that he had jumped to his feet, saying that he had to go home. At the door she had kissed him on the lips. Fleetingly, but it was enough to make his head spin.
When he’d elbowed his way back to the table, Karin gave him a smile. He noticed that she had touched up her lipstick.
‘By the way, I forgot to tell you. I talked to Kihlgård today. He got back the results of all the tests they did. And it was nothing. He’s fine.’
‘That’s good to hear. I was really concerned about him.’
‘The problem is that he’s overweight and doesn’t get enough exercise. So now he needs to start working out – at the gym. Can you see Kihlgård in gym shorts?’
Knutas smiled. The image was amusing, to say the least. He pictured the stout, boisterous inspector from the National Police scampering around a room with a bunch of buff twenty-year-olds.
Jacobsson lit a cigarette.
‘So what should we talk about now?’ she teased him. ‘Since you don’t want to discuss the investigation.’
‘It’s not as if I’m the one who has a hard time talking.’ Knutas took a sip of his wine, his eyes searching her face. ‘I’ve noticed that something has been weighing on you all winter. Actually, ever since last summer. Won’t you tell me what it is?’
Karin didn’t answer immediately. She took several sips of her wine while deciding what to say.
‘There are certain things that I can’t share with you, Anders. No matter how good friends we are. I thought you realized that long ago.’
‘Of course I respect the fact that you don’t want to tell me everything. But can’t you at least give me a clue? Because I can see that something is bothering you, and it’s affecting your work.’
Karin’s nut-brown eyes flashed.
‘Are you saying that I’m not doing my job properly?’
‘Come on, Karin. Of course that’s not what I’m saying. You’re an excellent police officer and you always do a good job. But you haven’t been yourself for the past six months, and I’m talking about your mood, not your professional efforts.’
‘OK, OK.’
She took another sip of wine. Knutas filled her glass. He noticed that she suddenly looked nervous.
‘Some things that happened during the murder investigation last summer stirred up old memories from my own life. Memories that I would have preferred to forget.’
‘What do you mean?’
Knutas could see how tense she was now, preparing to divulge what was bothering her. He could tell that it was something important. She sighed heavily. Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked so small and vulnerable that Knutas wished he could put his arms around her.
‘The fact is that I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a long time. I’ve been on the verge of telling you several times. The problem is that if I do, I’m risking my whole career with the police force, and I’ll be putting you in a terribly difficult situation. I’ve wanted to spare you that.’
‘What’s this about?’
‘But I really have no choice, no matter what the consequences may be. In my heart, I’ve wanted to tell you all along. Remember Vera Petrov? She was pregnant, right?’
‘Yes?’
‘When we were searching for her on the boat, I looked in all the cabins on the upper deck. And afterwards, I told everybody that I didn’t find her. Well, I was lying.’
Knutas stared at Karin in astonishment.