'I'm sure I should be pleased if you'd introduce me to them.'
This remark started everyone laughing.
'You don't need any introductions. It's keeping them away that's the trouble.'
'Well, I shall not be interested in meeting any of that sort.'
'Oh, you'll have to come with us to Madame Mimi's,' Hornbeam said reproachfully. 'It would be like going to London and missing the Houses of Parliament.'
'Are you suggesting,' I said coldly, 'that I should visit a brothel?'
'Where the hell else do you think there is to go in Santos?' Trail said testily. 'Anyway, Madame Mimi's is as respectable as the Liverpool Museum.'
'I wouldn't put that past suspicion,' Hornbeam said.
Trail cut the conversation short by pouring out gin all round and beginning a complicated story about two sailors losing their way in Lime Street station.
After an hour everyone was pretty cheerful.
'Don't make such a row,' Trail said. 'Father'll hear.'
'To hell with Father,' I heard myself say.
'Spoken like a sailor, Doc!' Hornbeam slapped me on the chest. 'Good old Doc! Best one I've ever sailed with.'
'I say, really…'
'You're the only one that's sane!'
This brought a round of applause.
'You're all mad at sea,' I said defiantly. 'The lot of you.'
The company immediately indicated their disbelief with the usual word.
'You are,' I said. 'Or you wouldn't be here.'
'Have some more gin,' Trail said.
'Thank you.' I swallowed another mouthful. 'As I was saying. I have made a diagnosis. From careful-not to say exacting-study of you in the past ten days I conclude that you're all suffering from the death wish.'
'What the hell's that?' McDougall asked angrily.
I held up a hand.
'Silence. As a disciple of Hippocrates I demand respect and silence. The death wish. When you are born all you want to do is die.'
This again filled the cabin with derision.
'Shut up, you blokes. Let the poor blighter speak,' Trail said.
I continued. 'That is what the psychologists say. Some people hang themselves. Others go into monasteries and…and things. Some climb mountains and live in caves. Others write poetry. Look at English poetry,' I demanded hotly of Hornbeam. 'Look at it! Redolent with the death wish!' I screwed up my eyes and struck an attitude of recitation.
I slipped off the bunk, but Hornbeam caught me.
'Death wish to the eyebrows, the lot of you! You withdraw-to sea. To sea! That's what it is!
'You're full of prune-juice, Doc,' someone said.
'I will not have insults,' I cried. 'If you would care to defend yourself like a gentleman, I shall take you up on it. You have the death wish, by God! You've all got it. So had Nelson. I've got it as well.'
I fell over McDougall's feet and no one bothered to pick me up.
The next morning I was suffering from a sharp attack of the death wish. But my performance had raised me surprisingly in the eyes of my shipmates. My earnest years as a medical student, my dignified excursion into practice, my prim approach to seafaring had built a scaffold underneath me: the Third Mate's gin had slipped the bolt.
My companions were relieved to find that I was not only sane but human: for my part, I began to realize that the sea, which washes away terrestrial affectations and inhibitions, had a great deal to recommend it. Sailors are of the few remaining people who make their way in companies across the unsignposted face of the world with the help of the sun and the stars, and spend most of their lives lying at the unhindered fancy of the weather. Their sense of values in human and elemental behaviour is therefore unblunted; they look on their existence as a long uproarious joke relieved by not unentertaining interludes of necessary tragedy. I thought them the last of the Elizabethans.
I believe there is no process so restful as moving at bicycle pace through the sunshine of the South Atlantic. We were steaming at ten knots, which meant we should be about three weeks reaching Santos. The metallic fragment of England in which we all existed-except the Wireless Operator-creaked easily onwards with a faint haze of smoke rolling from the funnel, scattering the nimble flying fish with her bow. Even crossing the Line caused no more disturbance than my having to stand drinks all round. The hot sun welded the days together so that they became indistinguishable. It was impossible to tell whether it was Tuesday or Thursday, and it didn't matter.
