'Oh! Of course, Sir Lancelot-'
'That is normal professional procedure.'
These remarks put my morale up no end. Despite our differences in the past, Sir Lancelot wasn't so much offering the olive branch as proffering ruddy great groves. But I should have realized that a chap like him would back me to the scalpel hilt, now that I was qualified and one of the boys.
'We shall see the patient, if you please.'
The Nutbeams looked rather flustered. 'And I should be glad if you would kindly provide me with a clean hand towel.'
I remembered Sir Lancelot always demanded a clean towel in uppish households, and in a tone inferring that it was a pretty stiff request.
'Dr Grimsdyke will lead the way,' he went on, as I stepped respectfully aside. 'The patient's doctor 'precedes the consultant into the sickroom. That is etiquette, and I should be the last to alter it.'
Our consultation was a great success. Sir Lancelot started by discussing ancient Chinese medicine for twenty minutes, then he examined the patient, had a chat about Byzantine architecture, and left his Lordship looking his brightest for weeks.
'And you discovered the original fracture solely from the physical signs, Grimsdyke?' he asked, as we left the room.
'Yes, sir.'
'Congratulations. The difficulty in making such a diagnosis is matched only by the disaster of missing it.'
'That's-that's very kind of you, sir.'
'I believe in giving credit where credit is due. In your case it happens to be remarkably easy.'
I felt jolly pleased with myself, all the same. Though I've always maintained that orthopaedic surgery is only a branch of carpentry, and now I come to think of it I was rather hot stuff in the woodwork class at school.
The other two Nutbeams were waiting expectantly in the hall, but at the foot of the stairs Sir Lancelot simply picked up his hat.
'Sir Lancelot-?'
Percy looked as though this wasn't much of a run for their money.
'Yes, Mr Nutbeam?'
'Have you-er, anything to say about my brother?'
'I shall have a consultation with my colleague here, who will inform you later. That is the normal procedure.'
'But if you could hold out even a word of hope-' exclaimed Amanda, I fancy glancing stealthily at the calendar.
'I think my colleague will allow me to say that you will shortly see an improvement in his Lordship's condition.'
'Thank God for that,' they cried together.
'Now, if you please, Dr Grimsdyke, we shall return to your surgery.' He pulled out that great gold watch of his. 'We have really little time for discussion before the four o'clock train.'
Sir Lancelot didn't mention the patient on our way back to the uncle's cottage, being more interested in describing all the different methods of thatching. I had to wait till he was enjoying a cup of tea in the parlour, when he declared:
'Apart from an uncomplicated healing fracture, there's nothing whatever wrong with Lord Nutbeam. But there's one thing he needs desperately-an interest in life. Believe me, it's perfectly easy to be bored to death. What do you suggest?'
'More books, sir?'
Sir Lancelot seemed to find this amusing.
'From you, Grimsdyke, a remarkable answer. The advice about never judging others by yourself is one of the stupider of proverbs. If humanity didn't show an astounding sameness, the practice of medicine would come to a dead stop.'
He spread a scone with clotted cream and strawberry jam.
'I agree that after a lifetime playing the recluse, Lord Nutbeam's expedition to hospital was something of a shock. With the appalling advance of specialization, hospitals have become quite overcrowded with staff-it is, of course, completely impossible to get any rest in them. Did you notice his nurses?'
'As a matter of fact I did, sir. There was a staff nurse and-'
Sir Lancelot raised his hand. 'It is quite enough answer, Grimsdyke, that you noticed them. No doubt Lord Nutbeam finds the amateur ministrations of his sister-in-law less agreeable. I shall send down a qualified nurse from a London bureau tomorrow. You will see to it that she isn't overruled by the family.'
'That might be a bit difficult, sir.'
'Rubbish!' He helped himself to a slice of fruit cake. 'There's only one way to handle difficult patients, difficult relatives, and difficult horses, and that's by keeping on top. I hope my visit has clothed you with a little added authority. That's often the only value of the consultant appearing on the scene at all.'
'How about tonics, sir?'
'To my mind there is only one effective tonic. I shall arrange for that to be sent from London also. I think I have time for another cup of tea, if you please. By the by,' he went on, as I put down the pot. 'You knew your cousin Miles was putting up for the consultant staff at St Swithin's?'
'He did mention it to me, sir.'
'How's he fancy his chances?'
'I think he's modest by nature, sir,' I replied cagily.
