He rests again on the Indian mound later in the afternoon, sitting at the top where the grassy summit sails above the treetops. He can see all the way to the western horizon, the royal purple of the clouded sky, a sliver of sun behind the clouds that bursts into a piercing ray.
The mound is a haven, and there Nathan feels less alone. The calm green of the grass restores itself as the storm clouds thin and the sun swells again. It is easy to be here. The mound as a place of memory offers safety; he can remember the first time Roy brought him here. He can linger there, in that space of day as he remembers it. He can safely remember many things about Roy, he can even remember Roy turning his back and walking away. It was only once, only one time.
But the thought of Roy makes him restless. Finding Roy. Though Nathan is very tired now, he stands again, ignoring the fierce pain in his legs.
In the late afternoon he comes to the clearing that leads to the pond. He walks through the cemetery, past the cherub and his stubby wings, along the pond's edge. He keeps to the forest, walking the long way round the far end of the pond. He stops close to the houses. The yards are empty, eerie quiet emanating from beyond. The school bus sits under the trees. Dad's car is out of sight.
A woman stands on each of the porches. Each is looking into the woods, as if she has lost something there. Nathan recognizes his own mother, and Roy's. Roy's mother wears the faded blue apron Nathan has seen before. She crosses the yard to dump a pan of scraps into the compost heap near one comer of the bam. Her large body moves with rolling steps, in waves of fat. She returns to stand at the door again, her expression again obscured by the screen.
Nathan's own mother keeps her vigil further back, leaning on the doorjamb with the kitchen visible behind her. She hovers in shadow, and Nathan sees little more than her silhouette and stance. But he recognizes her by the crooked way she crosses her arms, one hand dangling loose. She carries the familiar aura of weariness, of having a veil over her vision. But he can feel her searching. She has not forgotten.
Nathan remains hidden in the shadow at the edge of the trees. Wondering why Roy's mother is searching. Wondering whether Roy ever came home.
He has no clear image of where he is headed as a final destination until he hears the music through the trees. It is late. The storm has cleared but the sun is low. A thin thread of piano and organ, "Blessed Redeemer, Jesus Is Mine" drifts from beyond.
Ahead, where the forest abruptly stops, the slanted sunlight falls very clear and bright. A green lawn slopes downward to where another creek flows, nestled among shaggy cedars. In the lap of that lawn a white church blazes, its sharp steeple rising above a broad oak.
Nathan waits at the top of the slope, hidden among the trees. Down the hill a lot of cars are parked in the grass, and people dressed like Sunday evening stand in the yard. The service has ended, and people are coming out of the sanctuary. The music continues, "Just As I Am, without One Plea." No one is singing, only the piano and organ play.
Then out of the church comes Roy.
He has been crying. A girl in a white dress walks with him. They move slowly as if they are underwater, and for a moment Nathan is mesmerized by the sight. A preacher talks in Roy's ear, offering comfort. The girl in the white dress strokes Roy's hair. The fact of the church service has lent her radiance; the white dress makes Nathan think this is their wedding, but no, there are no other signs, no car decorated with streamers, no showers of dry rice. It is only a white dress. Here is Evelyn with Roy. Roy lifts his head.
Now a lot of people crowd the churchyard. The sky over the steeple is flushing pink. When Nathan steps out of the woods, they all see him.
Nobody knows him but Roy. For a moment he can only stand there.
Roy releases Evelyn's arm, gently insistent. He walks toward Nathan with only a little hesitation. She follows him for a few steps. It may be that she calls his name, but there is a lot of noise in the churchyard, as the piano strikes up "Standing on the Promises."
Roy calmly walks toward Nathan. When he is close enough to be sure of what he sees, he runs.
He stops a few feet away. His heart is visibly pounding, fear and confusion surround him. He finds his voice with some effort. His eyes are glittering. "How did you get here?"
"I walked."
Someone else must have recognized Nathan, other people are starting to approach them now. Nathan reaches for Roy's hand but at the last moment is afraid to touch it. He backs away.
The motion makes Roy desperate. "Stop. Where are you going?"
"I don't think I can stay here."
