“He recognized me for my mother. He loved her.”
“He loves you too, from the moment he held you.” She cupped his cheek noticing the slight stubble that was beginning to show on his face now. “Aye, he did love your mother very much. That is why you are so precious to him.” And why Dougray Firth, the Duke of Monreith, had never married. He still held a torch for Connie, Connor’s mother who had died in childbirth.
“Did you know he has decided to marry?” His eyes narrowed. “Because he wasn’t married to my mother, I cannot be his heir. After all these years, suddenly he wants an heir. It would appear I am no longer enough.”
So this was the reason Connor was acting up and trying to be the man he’d yet to become.
She drew him into a hug. “It does not mean he loves you any less. You know it’s the duty of any peer to ensure the continuation of the title. Your father being one of only a few Scottish dukes has even more pressure to ensure his lineage continues. And with the King’s visit…”
Connor pushed out of her embrace. “It has always just been father and I.”
“Oh, Connor it still will be. You’re almost a man. If he marries and has a son, it will be years before your father can hunt, fish, and more with him. You’ll still have him to yourself and by the time a younger brother is grown, you’ll likely be married with your own family.”
“But she will be my stepmother. Bruce got a stepmother and she was awful to him. What if she doesn’t like me and she convinces father to send me away?”
“He’d never do that, and he’d never marry a woman who could not love you. You are too important to him.”
Connor’s eyes filled with hope then she watched the hope drain away. He scuffed his boots along the Persian rug. Suddenly a grin replaced his scowl. “You could marry him. I like you. You’d never come between father and I.”
A two-pronged pain almost ripped her apart. She’d been in love with Dougray for years, long before her family married her off to Viscount Iain Grafton. But Dougray’s heart closed after Connie’s death. Dougray was not there at the end of Connie’s life and he never really recovered from the role the late Duke of Monreith played in the sorry affair.
Over the years Flora came to recognize that Dougray had not loved her enough. He had stood aside and watched as she married another.
Besides, he would not want her now. She’d been married for over five years before her husband died, and the union never produced a child. She’d be a bad wager for a man needing an heir.
Dougray must know that because she had been a widow for three years and he’d never come courting her. They were friends, but not the same as it had been before she wed. Flora almost thought he avoided her as much as possible.
She wanted children more than anything. That was the main reason she would risk marriage again, but not to someone who would be devastated if she never bore them a child. She’d pick a widower who already had children.
“You like my father, surely? You are good friends. Most women do find him handsome. Or is it me you would not want as a son.”
She sighed. “I’d be honored to be your stepmother but it’s not possible.”
His head tipped to the side. “You’re not that old, and you are very beautiful. I heard my father’s men say so.”
“I don’t think I could marry a man who still loved a ghost.”
Connor nodded. “I think he’s ready to move on. I heard him tell Mary.”
Lady Mary was Dougray’s sister, and Flora’s best friend.
If Dougray were ready to love again, the woman who could capture his battered heart would be one lucky woman indeed.
“So why not you?” Connor pushed.
“Think about it. I know your father has talked with you about men and women. I was married and yet I have no children.” Just saying the words filled her eyes with tears.
The boy noticed and quickly hugged
She wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron. “So you see your father is unlikely to consider me as potential marriage material.”
“I wish he did.”
She wished he did too, but if she married him and could not give him a child…he’d end up resenting her. Besides he did not love her, perhaps he never had. She’d had enough of loveless marriages. Her next marriage might last more than five years. Her previous marriage taught her that she could not bear a long loveless marriage. She would marry for love this time or not at all.
“Now run along and go and find something useful to do. This is an important visit for your father and for Scotland. Please try to do him proud, and leave chasing the girls until next week.”
His cheeky grin was back. “I’ll try, but that will likely break a few hearts.” He blew her a kiss as he went out the door. “You’re still my favorite.”
She let out a sigh. Oh, to have a boy like Connor as her own.
Busy. She needed to keep herself busy so she could push away the emptiness deep inside.
