“I do a lot!” said Gran, puffing out her chest. “I keep Tex’s doctor’s office running smoothly, and I help my granddaughter solve her cases, and, and, and…”
“Maybe they should give every citizen a key to the city,” Brutus suggested. “Otherwise there will always be people who feel left out, like Gran.”
“Why do they call it a key to the city, though?” said Dooley. “Hampton Cove isn’t a city, is it? Why not call it a key to the small town, since we’re a small town?”
“What I don’t understand,” said Harriet, “is why they don’t give these keys to cats. I mean, I can understand why they don’t give them to dogs. We all know that dogs don’t have anything to contribute, and who needs dogs anyway? But cats do.”
“You’re absolutely right,” said Brutus. “Maybe we should talk to Odelia, and ask her to tell Charlene to give us some of these keys, too. I feel like we deserve it.”
“The problem is that we don’t have the pockets to keep these keys,” I said.
“I don’t think it’s an actual key,” said Dooley. “I think it’s a pin.”
“A pin?” asked Harriet, gulping a little. “But I don’t want a pin.”
“Or maybe they put them around your neck,” Brutus said. “Like at the Olympics?”
“No, it’s a pin,” said Dooley. “I’m sure of it. I saw it on television once. There’s this big official ceremony at Town Hall and the mayor pins these things on your lapel.”
“But cats don’t have lapels!” Harriet cried.
“I bet they’d get Vena Aleman to do the pinning,” Brutus grunted darkly. “She’s used to putting pins in pets. In fact she loves it.”
Vena Aleman is our veterinarian, and I had to admit that Brutus had a point: Vena does love to stick us with sharp things at every opportunity. It’s what she does.
“Look, I didn’t get all of you guys here to talk about keys,” said Odelia, “though it’s very much appreciated, Charlene.”
“You’re welcome,” said Charlene. “First I have to get it past the council, of course.”
“That means it isn’t happening,” Gran loud-whispered to her friend, and she seemed to relish relaying this opinion. “And who needs these keys anyway?”
“I’ve called you here,” Odelia continued, “to discuss a case I’ve been asked to handle. Or in fact two cases.” And she proceeded to explain to all those present what those two cases entailed, exactly.
“You want me to do what?!” Gran cried when Odelia had finally gotten round to the point of the discussion. “Read my lips: over my dead body!”
“But Gran, can’t you see this is the only way? You can keep an eye on this guy who’s been showering Kirsten with gifts and is clearly up to something, and you can collect evidence that Sara Brooks’s husband is cheating on her with his secretary. Two birds with one stone.”
“Again with the birds!” Dooley said. “Why can’t she leave the poor birds alone?”
“It’s just an expression, Dooley,” I said. “It means that Gran is in the position to solve two cases at once by going undercover at this Happy Home for the Elderly.”
“Never!” Gran cried defiantly. “I always said I would never go to a retirement home and I’m putting my foot down. These places are deathtraps! They get you and then they kill you!”
“Nothing is going to happen to you,” said Marge soothingly. “You’ll move in for as long as you need to get a fix on this Henry Kaur and to snap some shots of Brian…”
“Brian Brooks,” Odelia supplied helpfully, giving her mother a grateful smile. No one knew how to handle Gran better than that recalcitrant old lady’s daughter.
“Don’t you want to help these people?” asked Marge, playing Gran like a stringed instrument. “That poor woman whose daughter is about to be harassed or even molested by this horrible man? And Mr. Brooks’s wife who wants a divorce but doesn’t want to lose her children? How old are these kids, by the way?” she asked.
“Ten and thirteen,” said Odelia.
“See? Two young children, having to live under the same roof with two parents who aren’t in love anymore, and are eager to find a happy home again.”
“I already have a happy home, thank you very much,” Gran insisted stubbornly. “And it’s not that Happy Home!”
“What if I join you?” said Scarlett. “I mean, two can do a better job than one, right?”
“I guess that wouldn’t be a problem,” said Odelia, nodding.
Gran shuffled uncomfortably in her chair.“I don’t know,” she said, but we could all see that she was about to crack.
“You’d get to meet new people,” Marge continued the onslaught against her mother’s defenses. “And I’ve heard that the food in these places is amazing.”
“It’s one of the best retirement homes in Hampton Cove,” Charlene confirmed.
“Oh, it’s one of those posh places, is it?” asked Gran, suddenly changing her tune.
“Absolutely,” said Odelia. “It’s where all the rich folks go. They pay good money but in exchange they get the best accommodations, the best food, the best everything. In fact they even had Justin Bieber in there performing a show last month.”
Gran’s expression clouded. “Now if you’d said Tony Bennett…”
“I’m sure that can be arranged,” said Marge quickly, giving her daughter a wink.