“I’m calm. And thanks. That’s very nice.”
“Why’s it so nice? If we’re here for anything on this gosh-darn globe, which is just what Jane and I were having it out about before—”
“Time out,” a man says to us, holding his hands up to make a T. “This is a joke.”
“We know,” Jane says.
“Good, you know, you love jokes. But this one is not intentionally meant to offend any ethnic or national group and any similarity to such is purely coincidental. The Polish army purchased ten thousand dilapidated bathtubs from an Italian scrapman—”
“You told us it.”
“How they refurbished the tubs and used them as tanks to invade Russia?”
“And I told you it wasn’t a very appropriate joke for this party and as far as jokes go, not at all droll.”
“Play ball,” he says, dropping his hands and walking away.
“Who let that guy in?” Phil says.
“I kind of liked it,” I say. “Not the joke so much but the ‘Time in, play ball.’ Takes a certain amount of guts and it’s something I might do — the preambular apology.”
“It takes stupidity, not guts. I think he’s an idiot. You know Milikin?”
“Seen his illustrations all over the place but never met him.”
“Genius, man, genius, and where I come from you’d get strung up for using that word for his work. I wanted to find someone to introduce us. Diana’s busy.”
“Just go over to him, say ‘Hello, how’s by you, what’s new, the family, and I wanted to meet you.’ He’ll like the attention, especially from an artist.”
“That’s what I told him,” Jane says. “I’m in no rush to meet him myself, although I do admire the regard and prices he gets. I’ll speak to him of course, but first I want Phil to introduce himself. Do it, Phil. Everyone has to humble himself to someone at times, and he has thirty years on you, so you have nothing to feel competitive about.”
“It’s not that. There are people talking to him.”
“You want a few more drinks first? Because you know you’re going to go over before the night’s over. But then you’ll be too sloshed to make any sense to him and for him to appreciate your going over to want to do anything to help push your work.”
“You know that’s not why I want to talk to him.”
