‘Okay,’ said Goldine, unimpressed. ‘We’ve been over this. It’s all in the positive mental attitude. I have some fight in me, Sammy. I may seem like a spoiled kid up here with all these facilities, but I know what it is to have things tough. Pete doesn’t need to knock me to teach me that. I don’t expect training to be a pushover, but there could be a little joy in it, couldn’t there?’
‘The joy comes later,’ said Lee.
‘I know, but—’
‘Have you tried to understand the training sessions from Peter Klugman’s angle?’
She sighed. ‘I wish I could. I don’t know whether he hates me, or what.’
‘The relationship between a coach and an athlete has overtones neither may completely understand.’
‘Meaning he drives me hard because he wants me to succeed where he failed?’ said Goldine, casually slotting Dryden’s theory into the discussion.
Lee gave her a longer look before replying, ‘Certainly that could influence his attitude. A coach might sublimate disappointments in his own achievements by transferring his ambitions to athletes he helps, yes. But there can be a conflict, too. In passing on his knowledge and experience he can feel something being drained from him. Your acquisition of technique is his loss.’
‘That I
‘When you mount the victory rostrum in Moscow, the glory will be yours. Little, if any, will reflect on anyone else. The pride Peter Klugman, or any of us, will take in your success will be personal. We shall have the satisfaction of a job well done, a contract completed. But a coach may not see it so dispassionately. It is difficult to be dispassionate about an ambition that has dominated your hopes and efforts since high school, and become the mainspring of your life. On that day in Moscow, Peter could be forgiven for thinking some of your success might have been his, even for feeling some resentment toward you.’
‘I get your drift,’ said Goldine. ‘I can understand that. I have a strong sense of self, too. You need that to be a champion. But, Sammy, I’m still kind of perplexed why he must cut me up now, when it’s all in front of me.’
Lee’s eyes focused on the ceiling. ‘Isn’t it possibly an indication that your progress in training shows you are certain to win in Moscow?’
She put her hand to her face as a smile dawned there. ‘I never thought of it that way! Sammy, you’re a genius!’
‘We were speaking in hypothetical terms,’ Lee discreetly added. ‘But as I was starting to say just now, the human mind can actually be stimulated by frustration and discomfort. When things go well, without checks, there is a danger of overconfidence, of satisfaction with a less than sufficient level of performance. I remember a nice phrase I read once in a piece about the qualities needed in a champion: the ability to ‘function in disaster and finish in style.’ That’s worth cultivating, Goldengirl. And it must come from within. It’s right that Peter Klugman should treat you with detachment. Your motivation should be mainly intrinsic in these last weeks.’
She nodded. ‘In the Lenin Stadium, I’ll be on my own. Surrounded by a 100,000 people, but really alone.’
Lee took off his glasses and wiped them methodically. ‘Are you easier in your mind now?’
There was a slight hesitation before she replied, ‘I guess I am.’
‘There’s still something?’
‘Maybe.’
‘“Maybe” usually means yes.’
‘Okay, there is,’ she admitted. ‘Last night, I lay awake trying to analyze what was wrong in my life. I decided it was Pete and the way he treats me now. I feel better about that, now you’ve explained it, but I’m still hung up, to a degree.’
Lee replaced the glasses on his face.
‘You know what I most miss up here?’ she went on. ‘Affection. I don’t mean dating. That can wait. I want somebody to care for me. Don’t take that unkindly, Sammy. You’re a terrific help to me, and I couldn’t function properly without you, but you know how it is — you’re my shrink. You have to be detached, like you say Pete must be. Two or three months back, I didn’t feel this way, and I guess that was because Pete was relating to me. He can be
