Hallucinations полностью

Marlon S., in his late seventies, has progressive glaucoma and some mild dementia. He has been unable to read for the last twenty years, and for the last five years has been virtually blind. He is a devout Christian and still works as a lay minister in prisons, as he has done for the last thirty years. He lives alone in an apartment, but he leads a very active social life. He goes out each day, either with one of his children or with a home attendant, to family occasions or to the senior center, where there may be games, dancing, going out to restaurants, and other activities.

Although he is blind, Marlon seems to inhabit a world that is very visual and sometimes very strange. He tells me that he often “sees” his surroundings—he has lived most of his life in the Bronx, but what he sees is an ugly, desolate version of the Bronx (he describes it as “shabby, old, much older than me”), and this may give him a feeling of disorientation. He “sees” his apartment, but he can easily get lost or confused. Sometimes, he says, the apartment gets “as big as a Greyhound bus terminal,” and at other times it contracts, becoming “as skinny as a railroad apartment.” In general, the hallucinated apartment looks dilapidated and chaotic: “My whole house is a wreck, looks like the Third World . . . then it looks regular.” (The only time his apartment actually is a mess, his daughter told me, is when Marlon, thinking that he is “blockaded” by the furniture, starts rearranging it, pushing things to and fro.) His hallucinations started about five years ago and were at first benign. “In the beginning,” he told me, “I saw a lot of animals.” They were followed by hallucinations of children—multitudes of them, just as there would always be multitudes of animals. “All of a sudden,” Marlon remembered, “I see all these kids come in, they were walking all around; I thought they were regular kids.” The children were silent but “talked with their hands”; they seemed unconscious of him and “did their own thing”—walking around, playing. He was startled when he found that no one else saw them. It was only then that he realized that his “eyes were playing tricks” on him.

Marlon enjoys listening to talk shows, gospel, and jazz on the radio, and when he does so, he may find his sitting room crowded with hallucinatory people who are also listening. Sometimes their mouths move as if they are speaking or singing along with the radio. These visions are not unpleasant, and they seem to provide a sort of hallucinatory comfort. It is a social scene, which he enjoys.¹²

In the last two years, Marlon has also started to see a mysterious man who always wears a brown leather coat, green pants, and a Stetson hat. Marlon has no idea who it is but feels that this man has a special message or meaning, though what the message or meaning is eludes him. He sees this figure at a distance, never close up. The man seems to float through the air rather than walk, and his figure can become enormous, “as tall as a house.” Marlon has also spotted a small, sinister trio of men, “like FBI, a long way off. . . . They look real, real ugly and bad.” Marlon believes in angels and devils, he tells me, and he feels that these men are evil. He has started to suspect that he is under surveillance by them.

Many people with mild cognitive impairment may be organized and oriented during the daytime—this is the case with Marlon, especially when he is at the senior center or at a church social, actively engaged with other people. But as evening comes, there may be a “sundowning” syndrome, and fears and confusions start to proliferate.

Generally, in the daytime, Marlon’s hallucinatory figures deceive him briefly, for a minute or two, before he realizes they are figments. But late in the day, his insight breaks down, and he feels his threatening visitors as real. At night, when he finds “intruders” in his apartment, he is terrified—even though they seem uninterested in him. Many of them look “like criminals” and wear prison garb; sometimes they are “smoking Pall Malls.” One night one of his intruders was carrying a bloodstained knife, and Marlon yelled out, “Get out of here, in the name of the blood of Jesus!” On another occasion one of the apparitions left “under the door,” slipping away like a liquid or vapor. Marlon has ascertained that these figures are “like ghosts, not solid,” and that his arm will go right through them. Nevertheless, they seem quite real. He can laugh about this as we talk, but it is clear that he can be quite terrified and deluded when he is alone with his intruders in the middle of the night.