“Perfect,” he said. “We’ll take her to some dark alley and poison her to death.”
“Wouldn’t an apartment someplace be a better venue?” Jessica asked.
And it suddenly occurred to him that perhaps they weren’t discussing murder at all, jokingly or otherwise. Was it possible that what Jessica had in mind was a three-way?
“Go talk to the lady,” she said. “After that, we’ll improvise.”
Will wasn’t very good at picking up girls in bars.
In fact, aside from his “What’ll we do for a little excitement tonight?” line, he didn’t have many other approaches in his repertoire. He was emboldened somewhat by Jessica’s encouraging nod from where she sat at the opposite end of the bar, but he still felt somewhat timid about taking the empty stool alongside Alice or Patricia or whatever her name was.
It had been his experience that plain girls were less responsive to flattery than were truly knockout beauties. He guessed that was because they were expecting to be lied to, and were wary of being duped and disappointed yet another time. Alice or Patricia or Whoever proved to be no exception to this general Plain-Jane observation. Will took the stool next to hers, turned to her, and said, “Excuse me, Miss,” exactly as he’d rehearsed it with Jessica, but before he could utter another word, she recoiled as if he’d slapped her. Eyes wide, seemingly surprised, she said, “What? What is it?”
“I’m sorry if I startled you…”
“No, that’s all right,” she said. “What is it?”
Her voice was high and whiney, with an accent he couldn’t quite place. Her eyes behind their thick round lenses were a very dark brown, still wide now with either fright or suspicion, or both. Staring at him unblinkingly, she waited.
“I don’t want to bother you,” he said, “but…”
“That’s all right, really,” she said. “What is it?”
“My friend and I couldn’t help noticing…”
“Your friend?”
“The lady sitting just opposite us. The blonde lady at the other end of the bar?” Will said, and pointed to Jessica, who obligingly raised her hand in greeting.
“Oh. Yes,” she said. “I see.”
“We couldn’t help notice that you were sitting here, drinking alone,” he said. “We thought you might care to join us.”
“Oh,” she said.
“Do you think you might care to? Join us?”
There was a moment’s hesitation. The brown eyes blinked, softened. The slightest smile formed on her thin-lipped mouth.
“I think I would like to, yes,” she said. “I’d like to.”
They sat at a small table some distance from the bar, in a dimly lighted corner of the room. Susan-and not Patricia or Alice, as it turned out-ordered another Chardonnay. Jessica stuck to her martinis. Will ordered another bourbon on the rocks.
“No one should sit drinking alone three days before Christmas,” Jessica said.
“Oh, I agree, I agree,” Susan said.
She had an annoying habit of saying everything twice. Made it sound as if there were an echo in the place.
“But this bar is on my way home,” she said, “and I thought I’d stop in for a quick glass of wine.”
“Take the chill off,” Jessica agreed, nodding.
“Yes, exactly. Take the chill off.”
She also repeated
“Do you live near here?” Jessica asked.
“Yes. Just around the corner.”
“Where are you from originally?”
“Oh dear, can you still tell?”
“Tell what?” Will asked.
“The accent. Oh dear, does it still show? After all those lessons? Oh my.”
“What accent would that be?” Jessica asked.
“ Alabama. Montgomery, Alabama,” she said, making it sound like “Mun’gummy, Alabama.”
“I don’t hear any accent at all,” Jessica said. “Do you detect an accent, Will?”
“Well, it’s a regional dialect, actually,” Susan said.
“You sound like you were born right here in New York,” Will said, lying in his teeth.
“That’s so kind of you, really,” she said. “Really, it’s so very kind.”
“How long have you been up here?” Jessica asked.
“Six months now. I came up at the end of June. I’m an actress.”
An actress, Will thought.
“I’m a nurse,” Jessica said.
An actress and a nurse, Will thought.
“No kidding?” Susan said. “Do you work at some hospital?”
“Beth Israel,” Jessica said.
“I thought that was a synagogue,” Will said.
“A hospital, too,” Jessica said, nodding, and turned back to Susan again. “Would we have seen you in anything?” she asked.
“Well, not unless you’ve been to Montgomery,” Susan said, and smiled.
A waitress, Will thought.
The nurse and I are about to kill the plainest waitress in the city of New York.
Or worse, we’re going to take her to bed.