Field Protectator Wylan surreptitiously looked on as the series of suspects succinctly and systematically removed themselves from the local vicinity of his jurisdiction. He shook his head in bemusement. This was most serious. As the last of the felonious peripatetics disappeared through the opening in the fire, said fire diminished in size until it was reduced to nothingness. Wylan stepped forth to survey the scene of the suspects’ justice evasion operation. He sniffed the air around the fire, and examined in minute detail the fire pit itself. “On the encouraging side, they will not have to be charged with reckless forestall endangerment through the unauthorized use of pyromantic techniques.” His assistant nodded in agreement. “On the negative side, we will have to add evasion of justice resulting in fugitive status to their already long list of criminal convictions.” He looked to his fellow law officer to ensure that the man was writing this down.
Wylan had met up with Assistant Vice-Constable Pyromancer Fiernon a few hours ago. The two had made judicious haste to the site of the suspects’ campsite. They had observed said suspects for over an hour before the suspects had suddenly taken action and marched through the fire, failing to emerge on the other side. “To what location do you believe these vile henchmen of hell have abstained?” asked Fiernon.
Wylan frowned. “Your choice of the word hell may not be completely without meaningful merit. While I am not currently as well versed as some of my fellows in such matters as pertinent to this investigation, it is my belief, judging from the smell of sulfur and brimstone in the air, added to their already admittedly illicit and ill-advised demonic alliances, that they have absconded to the Abyss.”
“The Abyss?” Fiernon was startled. “What is the state of our current extradition treaty with the Abyss?”
Wylan shook his head. “Unfortunately, not particularly good. What organized government said region has is notably lacking in cohesion and is further noticeably reticent to make any such treaty so as to uphold the due process of law. Experience has further taught us that their pursuance of the matters of justice is more than even criminally sporadic. In short, even given the existence of said treaty, it is highly unlikely to be upheld on the part of the Abyssal rulers.”
Fiernon nodded. “This is therefore indicative that extradition via extra planar extraction is advisable?” he asked.
“Advisable yes.” Wylan stated. “Feasible no. Said government, such as it is, is notably objective to incursion by outside elements. Such actions on our part are often met with severe resistance on their part. Further given no truly cohesive organized government institution that we can deal with, and no embassy on our part, locating such individuals is also extremely difficult.”
“Nefarious nihilists! For the moment, they seem out of our pursuance. How I would love nothing more than for the jaws of justice to mercilessly masticate the miserably malicious malefactoring miscreantic malcontents!” Fiernon pounded his fist into the palm of his left hand.
“While the exhaustive exhibition of elegant eloquence in your exhortative elocution is extremely, nay exquisitely exacting in the extreme, and excessively encouraging to me, thus ensuring of my express agreement, I must say, do not give up hope!” Wylan paced around the campsite, looking for details. “For, as is well documented, such maloriferous misanthropes as these, frankly mystifying malefactors of malevolent mendacity and mongers of maladictive misbehavior, always return to the scene of their putrescent, puerile and pitiable perpetrations. To wit, in this case, they will return to Astlan. Of this you may rest assured.”
Pointing to the heavens above, Wylan concluded. “Therefore, have no futile feeling of fearful fretting, as Justice shall prevail and the rapscallious vagabonds of cantankerous courtly contempt shall pay most dearly for the scandalous, nay, scoundrel-like, misdeeds and misappropriations of constabulary life.” Fiernon bowed his head, grateful for the alliterative, yet nearly allegorical, postulations of reassurance provided by one who was so obviously a truly masterful legal discourser of the first rank.
“You were, as I believe was so efficaciously effected tonight to be demonstrated, correct in your initial estimations as to these villaicious varlets threat to Oorstemoth. Not only do I concur with your judgment, I feel that I must request that a full lack of judicial restraint be utilized in the capture and subsequent prosecution and execution of these savagely seedy suspects of sin.” Wylan complimented and assured Fiernon. “I shall even now begin the undertaking of such steps as to ensure the eventual demise and destruction of said parties.”
