— Going at three fifty a good time to sell out I lost a daughter, did I tell you that Bast? Both of us get fixed up and go homesteading she could spell almost anything how do you like that, she was taking piano lessons when they took out her appendix son of a bitches never let you down do they it wasn’t her appendix at all. I took a bride doll up to her that’s the one thing she wanted, a bride doll, she’d keep missing the right notes keep trying it again she was learning a song called for Alise’s something like that I never did hear it like it was supposed to be, she’d miss notes leave little parts out and start again I always thought maybe someday I’d hear it right hear what I was supposed to there was a delicatessen near us named Alise’s then, that’s why I can even remember the name of it still hear it like she played it though that’s all I, all I want, I can still, hear it? hear it…?
— Yes who rang in here?
— I did nurse it’s Mister Duncan he’s, I just wonder if he’s all right he…
— Get back to bed I’ll take care of him… the spot of light leaped, dropped shrunk close searching white from whites, darted, paused — just get to sleep he won’t disturb you now… came up blinding and was gone, leaving the dark confirmed by the wall socket’s glow until it faded with the rise of day.
— Mister Duncan? are you awake? Sun caught on water somewhere trembled on the ceiling — that reflection up there, can you see it throbbing? I think it’s my puke I’ve just been lying here watching it, I couldn’t figure it out. I wasn’t even trying to Mister Duncan? do you know what scares me? Just lying here watching it it’s from that glass of water down there where my foot’s resting I was thinking about all the things you’ve said, I was thinking there’s so much that’s not worth doing suddenly I thought maybe I’ll never do anything. That’s what scared me I always thought I’d be, this music I always thought I had to write music all of a sudden I thought what if I don’t, maybe I don’t have to I’d never thought of that maybe I don’t! I mean maybe that’s what’s been wrong with everything maybe that’s why I’ve made such a, why I’ve been thinking of things you’ve said as though just, just doing what’s there to be done as though it’s worth doing or you never would have done anything you wouldn’t be anybody would you, you wouldn’t even be who you are now, Mister Duncan? where’s the, nurse? Miss Waddams is that you out there…?
— Haven’t you boys washed up yet?
— No but Mister Duncan is he, I guess he’s still asleep I called the nurse for him last night when he…
— Mister Duncan…?
— I was just telling him how much I, wait what are you closing the curtain…
— Joe? will you bring that chair in out there?
— Wait where’s he going is he awake? Mister Duncan? I just remembered something is there a piano here someplace Miss Waddams? That piece of music you said your daughter used to practice the one you said you’d never heard right? I think I know what it…
— No over here Joe, Mister Bast’s going down to the solarium would you like that Mister Bast?
— Well, well all right yes but I haven’t even had breakfast I mean what’s…
— We’ll bring you some just get your feet down that’s it, your friend Mister Coen called he said he’s bringing your cousin up, the one whose husband’s in intensive care now step back, that’s it, that will be nice won’t it sit back now, do you feel steady?
— Fine yes I feel fine but what wait, wait is he awake? I just wanted to tell him that piece your daughter used to practice Mister Duncan? I think I know what it was I’ll play it for you later and see, I think it’s a piano piece Beethoven wrote for…
— Go ahead Joe hurry up… she came after them — and come right back… but she paused there through the door, finding a tissue before she turned up the corridor. — Is there a doctor on the floor yet?
— Why what happened.
— They left me an expiration in three nineteen last night, you busy?
— I’ve got a pre-op in three eleven this nasty old…
— Would you change with me?
— What for three nineteen? sure what’s…
— I just, you just get to like them sometimes…
— Don’t worry you won’t get to like this one watch out though, they said he’s a trustee here…
— Thanks… she paused outside the door using the tissue, brought her weight against it. — Good morning, are we read…
— Where the two phones I ordered put in here.
— There’s a telephone right there beside the bed sir, if you…
— Told them to put in two outside lines here can’t waste half the day going through your damn switchboard every time I…
— Hoid your water John you’re just here to have a plug changed, nurse I told them at the desk out there to bring me some Bananx where is it.
— I don’t know ma’am I don’t think we…
— It’s a hospital isn’t it? You don’t use drugs in a hospital?
— Yes ma’am but we can’t hand them out to a visitor without any doc…
— Visitor! you’ll see a visitor who’ll hand you something hand you your ass if you can’t, who’s doing this implant, Handler? You call Doctor Han…
