“You’re right. Screw it. I can’t live my life as others want me to. If I’m going to be a movie star, there are certain obligations; I understand that. But I’ve been letting that rule everything. I skipped running this morning just because some stupid shark decided to do what it naturally does and eat a poor sea lion in front of me. How dumb is that?” I asked as the light bulb turned on.
“Look, I hate that you’re alone this Christmas. If I had my way, you’d be helping me do last-minute shopping or just being a goof. Seriously, get a grip. I bet you could make a phone call or go do something. Nobody is forcing you to be alone tonight.”
I laughed. Tami was right, but sometimes I needed to feel sorry for myself or I’d have to turn in my teenager card.
“Thanks, I needed you to make fun of me. Now I feel like I’m at home,” I said.
“Any time, ‘stupid boy.’ And you
“No, your mom would kill me.”
“I bet she’d be fine if you sent two tickets.”
“Oh, bite me. You just want to take advantage of my vast wealth.”
“I heard you gave Pam a debit card. I was wondering when I’d be getting one.”
“When you let me get you pregnant,” I reasoned.
“You do realize that I’ll be seeing your mother?”
“Mom’s been trying to track me down, but I bet I can avoid her for the next few days. When she sees me in person, I’ll just bat my eyes at her, and she’ll remember that she loves her youngest child the best.”
It was Tami’s turn to laugh. We both knew that my mom liked her better than me.
◊◊◊
Tami was right. I needed to get out of my funk, so I called Maria, and she came right over.
“You going to teach me some things?” she asked.
“Sure. How was Paul?” I asked.
“He was okay. He just wanted to put it in and hump.”
“Sometimes that’s good.”
“For the guy,” Maria shot back.
“Let’s go up to my room. There’s a full-length mirror we can use.”
I had her stand in front of the mirror with her clothes on.
“I’m going to call out different expressions, and you make me feel that emotion,” I said.
She looked doubtful, but I plowed ahead.
“Happy to see me,” I said.
Maria turned to me.
“Stop. The mirror is the camera. You have to let it know you’re happy to see it,” I said.
She made a weird face and then frowned.
“Let me show you,” I said and then did so.
Maria tried it again and was better, but I pointed out how she ducked her head a little, and that caused her to look like she had a second chin. We worked on that expression until she had it down, and then we were off to the next one.
Maria was a sponge and eager to learn, which made it easy. We eventually had her naked, and I showed her different things, like if she twisted a certain way the skin on her side would wrinkle. I then had Maria give me oral, and she would glance over to the mirror to see how it looked.
“Be careful to keep your hair out of your face. The camera wants to see you, not guess if you’re really giving me head or not,” I coached.
Tami had been right. I could make a phone call and find something to do.
◊◊◊ Thursday December 24
I woke up to find a ball of fur sleeping on my chest and wondered where Bandit’s mom was. I heard the toilet flush, and Halle came out and smiled at me.
“Hold still. I want to get a picture,” she said.
She found her phone and pointed it at me.
“Act like you’re asleep,” she said.
I did as I was told and heard the camera app work as she snapped several pictures. She then pulled the sheets down until I was barely covered; I trusted her not to expose me. She took more pictures. I opened my eyes and saw Bandit looking at me. I blew in his face, and he swatted at me. He was playful; they’d gotten it right when they called this Ragdoll breed ‘puppycats.’ Bandit got up and rubbed against my cheek. Halle caught the whole thing on video with her phone. It would be on her social media pages by breakfast, I was sure.
I handed Bandit to Halle and got up to take my shower. I heard the camera click. Halle had taken a picture of my naked butt.
“What do you plan to do with that?” I asked.
“Brook said she missed you. I wanted to give her a little something more to miss.”
“Don’t be surprised when she kicks your behind when she sees you in person,” I warned her.
Halle rolled her eyes at me. I’d given my warning, so I just stepped into the bathroom and took my shower. They would work it out; I didn’t need to get into the middle of it.
After my shower, I came downstairs and found Bandit killing his squeaky toy mouse. I was glad I didn’t have a hangover because the noise was annoying. Halle was in the kitchen making some scrambled eggs and toast. She sent me off to the patio to take in the sun and listen to the waves. Bandit followed me out and attacked my toes, so I picked him up to save myself. Halle brought out breakfast.
“What’s the plan for the day?” I asked.
