“Anyway,” Jackie said, “I’ve been coming to this restaurant all my life. My parents say it’s the most authentic food you can get in the city. Most Americans are used to Cantonese food: sweet and sour pork, lemon chicken, almond chicken, won ton, that sort of thing. But there are 35 provinces in China, each with their own unique cuisine, though of course, there is overlap. I brought you here because I thought you might want to try something different. If you’ll allow me, I’ll order several dishes and have them served family-style. That way if you don’t like something, you can try something else.”
We all agreed, and when our waiter came over, Jackie and he had a long conversation. She seemed to be asking him questions, and he would make suggestions.
“I hear they eat stuff we might not want, like monkey, dog, and donkey,” Kendal said.
“We saw a donkey dick today,” I volunteered.
That even got Jackie to stop her order as everyone looked at me.
“Tyler, why don’t you describe it? I think you got the best angle,” I suggested.
“You are so dead,” she threatened me.
“You were looking at an honest-to-God donkey dick?” Kendal asked.
“I know, who would have guessed? See what you miss out on when you go play with Adrienne instead of working?” I teased.
“Tell it to my boss,” Kendal shot back.
“What did you see?” Adrienne asked Tyler.
Tyler turned bright red. I just rolled my eyes.
“In the morning, we had to get shaved,” I said, pointing south. “Ryan was the other model I was working with, and he had to have the same treatment, so we were both exposed. But Ryan wasn’t normal. How big do you think that thing was?” I asked Tyler.
“Keep me out of this,” she threatened.
“You’d think that someone who’s only interested in girls wouldn’t be so fascinated by boy parts,” I teased.
“Shut
“So, he had a big one?” Adrienne asked.
“You’ve heard the phrase ‘bigger than a baby’s arm’? This one was thicker. The head looked the same size as a lemon,” I shared.
“He should be in porn, not modeling,” Tyler blurted out and turned red again.
“If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t have believed it,” Jackie added.
I think Tyler was grateful when Jackie returned to ordering food.
When the appetizers came out, Jackie explained what we were having.
“The first dish is Mandarin, they say from Shandong province, called mu xu pork. It’s stir-fried sliced pork tenderloin, cucumber, and scrambled eggs, served with ‘pancakes’ that are used to wrap the mixture; you put some plum sauce inside when you wrap it,” she instructed.
Mu xu pork looked like Chinese fajitas. The plum sauce made the dish. No question, I could eat a whole serving of this by myself.
“This one is Szechuan, called mapo doufu. It’s tofu with shredded pork in garlic sauce. Be careful, it’s spicy, and I would suggest you not eat the little peppers.”
So of course, I had to take a bite out of one. I would listen next time.
“I also got a variety of dumplings,” she said and then pointed at each one as she explained. “Jiaozi are filled with pork, chicken, shrimp, or vegetables. Xiao long bao are called soup dumplings. They have thin wrappers like wonton but are steamed. Xiao long bao are made with either ground pork or pork and crab inside; these have gel pellet placed inside when they’re made. When they’re cooked, the gel melts, so there’s broth as well as filling inside.”
I enjoyed the last one. Soup dumplings were a little messy but tasty; you ate them with a little red vinegar. I liked that Jackie found dishes we would like that most of us hadn’t tried before. I could hardly wait for the main course. Jackie began to point out dishes as they were put on the table.
“The first two are side dishes. I love green beans with garlic. That one is wood ear mushrooms in a vinegar dressing. The next dish is from Xinjiang. My mom calls it ‘kosher Chinese food.’ This is crispy fried wheat-flour dough twists, and next to it is kao baozi. It’s a baked lamb pie. You rarely find these in the US.
“The next two dishes are from Hunan. This one is drunken chicken, which is pretty much chicken cooked in a beer sauce. Then there’s stir-fried duck blood. It’s really not all that different from blood sausage, but stir-fried,” Jackie said.
It looked like I might get to eat that one alone.
“The last dish is yu xiang eggplant, or eggplant in garlic sauce, which is from Szechuan.”
I loved the food Jackie introduced us to.
◊◊◊
When we were done, I was glad that Adrienne suggested that we go back to her place. It had been a long day. When we arrived, several packages were waiting for me. I found they contained clothes from today’s shoot. The girls helped me carry them upstairs.
Everyone changed and put on more comfortable clothes. I put on a pair of the matching Hollister sweats and sweatshirt, then sat on the floor in front of Pam and Kara. Adrienne broke out the wine. Pam and I refrained, each for our own reasons.
