Hana clearly didn’t like that. She wasn’t hard on the eyes, and I would probably need someone around to help me. It was better to hang out with a cute girl close to my age than with Shiggy; I’d considered asking him to go with me.
“Okay. If Hana wants to go, I’ll make sure there’s a chaperone with us,” I said.
It impressed me that she only had a little smile. Japanese girls were not like American girls.
I think I shocked her dad when I told her she had to contact Caryn and have a background check done. I remembered Shiggy had to go through one when he volunteered to coach baseball. What I didn’t know was if Hana was here legally. If I ever chose to go into politics, I didn’t want someone pointing a finger at me for hiring an illegal. I really wasn’t worried, because if Akio were anything like Shiggy, every detail would have been taken care of.
Once she was hired, it was planned that she would be my tutor. Shiggy would work with me when I went to the dojo, and Hana’s teaching sessions would be done at Shiggy’s house. The bonus would be that she would introduce me to Japanese cuisine. Shiggy thought that was a great idea, but I suspected he just wanted home-cooked meals.
◊◊◊
While I’d been on vacation, Uncle John had met with my ‘entourage,’ as well as Halle, Zoe, Pam, and Peggy. He and Aunt Bonnie were at my house when I made it home. They’d been by the hospital to see Coby. I planned to go after dropping my books off.
“Just the man I wanted to see,” Uncle John said.
“I’m going to go visit Pam and Coby. Why don’t you come with me?” I suggested.
He grabbed his jacket and drove me to the hospital.
“I wanted to talk to you about your friends. I sat down with each of them and helped them set their goals. They told me you wanted to talk to them about achieving them.”
“I think I want to add a new goal: ‘Helping those close to me realize their dreams,’” I said.
“That sounds like a great goal as long as your help isn’t just financial,” Uncle John cautioned.
“Did you get a feel for what they want to be when they grow up?” I asked, trying to be smart.
“Some. I was a little surprised at the loyalty some of them have towards you.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“I used to do this for a living, if you remember. Most people your age are busy finding themselves, and their focus is on them. Now and then, you’ll see someone become focused on another person, but that normally is part of their ‘winning strategy,’” Uncle John explained.
When I stayed with him the summer before high school to get my head on straight, he’d taught me much about life. One of his lessons was the concept of strategies people used in life to win others over. If you paid attention, you could figure out what those strategies were. An example was the funny person who used humor to get people to like them. Another was the one who made themselves indispensable; they would solve all your problems for you in a quest to tie you to them. Others were bullies; they knew if they were a big enough jerk, they would get their way. Still others were teacher’s pets, and the list went on.
What Uncle John was talking about was the guy or girl who got their first girlfriend or boyfriend and then focused on them. They obsessed about what the other person was doing and how they could get them to like them more. While it sounds great to be on the receiving end at first, you quickly realize that they become clingy.
“So, what are my friends focused on?” I asked.
“They’re still thinking in terms of ‘what’s in it for me?’ That attitude doesn’t really change for some people. Others begin to grow up when they have a life event and realize they’re not the focus of the universe. A good example is you having Coby. I bet when you held him for the first time, he suddenly became a big part of your life’s focus. You might want to add a life goal: I would suggest ‘Being a good father.’”
I could see that.
“So, what point did you want to make?” I asked to get him back on track.
We’d done this more than once, and he just smiled at me.
“Almost all your friends want to go to college with you. Tim and Wolf want to play ball with you. They both want to have you in their life even after football. That could also be said for Cassidy, Tracy, and Tami.”
“What about Alan, Halle, Pam, Peggy, and Zoe?” I asked.
“I don’t want to give the plot away,” he teased. “I want to be with you when you sit down with them.”
“You worried I’ll mess this up?”
“No, I’m sure you’ll do fine. This is what I love to do, though. I believe I can help you construct a plan for each of them, now that they’ve identified their goals. Why don’t I sit in on the first few and we help them figure out how to take those goals and turn them into reality? If you feel you can handle it from there, I’ll step back and let you take it,” Uncle John suggested.
◊◊◊
We went in to see Pam and Coby. Tracy was holding my son when we walked in. It looked like Pam had just fed him, and Tracy was patting his back. I recognized her problem before she even knew she had one.
