“Are you worried I’ll take your spot?” Dave asked, looking at me as if I were beneath him.
Maybe I should just punch him.
“It’s not about how you’re playing. If it were, you’d be a shoo-in. Remember what Coach Kingwood said they were looking for? Team players. You are quickly becoming ‘that guy,’ the one no one wants to be around,” I explained.
“What do you mean by ‘that guy’? No one has said anything to me,” Dave said.
“How do I explain this? Do you have an uncle or family member that when they show up, everyone wants to avoid them?” I asked.
“No, not really.”
“How about someone at school?”
“There’s this guy who stares at me in the shower after practice. He also seems to show up at parties and stuff. Everyone feels uncomfortable around him,” Dave admitted.
I resisted the urge to say, ‘You can’t say that.’ I was sure stalkers had feelings too.
“Okay, that’s not the example I had in mind, but you may want to get a restraining order,” I suggested.
Dave stared at me, not saying a word, so I decided to just tell him.
“People are sick of you always judging them.”
“What do you mean? I’m only trying to point out that what they’re saying could be hurtful. I go to a Christian school, and many people don’t realize the hurtful stuff they say about Christians. They think we’re just a bunch of ignorant religious fanatics.”
I got a glimpse of why Dave was the way he was. He’d been picked on to the point where he decided he would right all the social injustices of the world. The problem was, he was doing exactly what he was upset about others doing to him. It was one of the biggest issues humans have had throughout history: persecuting people because they didn’t think like you did. While Dave was pointing out hurtful speech and only had the best of intentions, he was quickly becoming someone no one would listen to or want to be around.
“Dave, before our country was even founded, and for a long time after, people fled Europe to avoid persecution. Our constitution gives us the right to free speech, even if we don’t agree with what someone says. I respect that you believe in letting people know how you feel. But just because you have the right to say something doesn’t mean I have to agree or to hang out with you.
“I’m going to give you a piece of advice. You don’t have to prove to everyone that you’re right all the time. To do that, you have to show them they’re wrong. If someone told you that everything you did was wrong, would you want to spend time with them?” I asked.
“You mean like a coach?” Dave asked with a straight face.
I snorted and then began to laugh. He had a point.
“You got me there. Man, pick your battles. The team wants to like you, but you’re pushing them away by always telling them they can’t say something. I would bet they already realize what they said was inappropriate. They’re just being guys and cracking on each other. My guess is that it’s getting worse because they’re starting to do it just so they can see how you’ll react.”
“You really think they’re doing that?” Dave asked.
“I guarantee it. Even I do it sometimes,” I admitted.
“I still think it’s wrong.”
“I know you do, and sometimes I do too. Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal. You slow down on telling them they can’t say stuff, and I’ll have a talk with the team about respecting you and how you feel,” I said.
“That’ll just make it worse. It would be like my mom going to talk to a bully on my behalf.”
That image hit a little too close to home.
“Do you want to talk with them instead? I’ll be there to support you,” I offered.
“Do they really think I’m ‘that guy’? The one no one wants to be around?” Dave asked.
“I’m afraid so. The problem is, the coaches have noticed. If you don’t turn this around, we’re not getting the team into the final forty, because you won’t be on it,” I predicted.
“Have they said something to you?”
“No, but I’ve had word get back to me that they’re concerned about team chemistry and that they’re worried you won’t fit in. Why don’t we turn that around? I’ve heard some other comments about our teammates that they need to work on. Why don’t you help me get them up to speed, and we work together to get the whole team in the final forty?” I suggested.
“I’d like that. My sister seems to like you, and she’s a good judge of character.”
“Speaking of M.E., why are you dating her only friend?” I asked.
His face suddenly colored.
“I can’t help who I like. It’s not like I started dating Kelly to hurt my sister. I know how socially awkward she is. And, by the way, it means a lot to me that you’ve taken the time to be her friend. It’s just that one day I suddenly realized that Kelly was who I wanted to date.”
“Does Kelly feel the same way?” I asked.
I could see that pissed him off.
“Why wouldn’t she?” he snapped.
I just raised both eyebrows.
“Sounds like you have some doubts. If that’s the case, the two of you need to sit down with your sister and make things right. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but your sister only had the one friend. It’s not fair to her.”
