“I got tired of the secrecy,” Pham said in reply. “Without getting myself in trouble, I can tell you I was working on counterspace systems — different technologies and whatnot that protect American and allied satellites from enemy threats, mostly Russian and Chinese. Most of the intelligence that I had to work from was compartmented, held at the highest levels in the intelligence community and DOD. And to be honest, Grace, it was awful. I had to design and architect solutions without having all of the right assumptions. The only way I knew if I was doing something wrong was if the operators, most of whom were read in, told me I was wrong, or God forbid we got into a war that extended into space and we started losing on-orbit assets.”
“That does sound awful,” Parkowski agreed. “It’s an engineer’s worst nightmare, not being able to prove your answer is correct, either analytically or experimentally.”
“So I finally got fed up,” Pham continued with a nod, “and Gus is originally from the West Coast, so I reached out to my contacts out here and got a job lined up. That was over fifteen years ago. And I’ve never looked back.”
He took a deep breath. “Why am I telling you all of this? Because sometimes it’s just the way that it is. And it sucks, not knowing everything, but there’s nothing you or I can do about that, so why worry?”
She now saw why he was telling her all of this. Maybe he, and by association DePresti, was right. But then again, maybe they were both too far in to be able to see the problem holistically.
He gave her an odd look. “You’re not going to stop looking into it, are you?”
Parkowski shook her head.
“Can you at least try to not let it impact the rest of your life then?” Pham asked. “Mike is a good guy, and I’m sorry that you feel like he isn’t listening to your concerns, but maybe it’s not a topic the two of you can discuss. My husband and I have some that are off-limits, maybe this should be one for the two of you.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel like he should be helping me figure this out, but he’s almost afraid to try.”
“There’s a line in the black project community, which if I understand correctly he’s a part of: don’t speculate on what you don’t know. He probably doesn’t want to get you, or him, in trouble.”
Parkowski thought back to the near-miss outside of the secure room. “I guess that makes sense.”
“And don’t let it impact your work either,” Pham continued. “Grace, I can’t say it enough, but you’re doing great. You’re one of our youngest operators but you’ve done amazing work and are lining yourself up for a promotion.”
He cleared his throat. “And, if it becomes necessary for you to be read into any special programs or for you to upgrade your clearance in order to do your job as an ACHILLES operator, I promise I will make it happen. Unfortunately, right now, I can’t justify that need-to-know.”
She nodded.
Pham sprung up from his chair. “I almost forgot,” he said, walking around her apartment, “the other reason I came.”
“What is it?”
“Mohammed had to fly home to Michigan today, his dad is in the hospital. He’s scheduled to run through a mission tomorrow at ten, the first mission of the day, but he’s not going to make it. You’re the first alternate and I decided to talk about it with you in person, to make sure you’re ready to go.”
Parkowski’s phone buzzed. It was DePresti again. She turned it face-down on the table.
Maybe the tides had turned. The last mission had gone well and without any anomalies. She might be back on track.
Parkowski turned to Pham. “Yeah, I can do it.”
“Great,” he said. “Come in early tomorrow, at around seven or seven-thirty, and we can do our planning.”
She smiled and walked her boss to the door.
“Thanks for stopping by,” Parkowski said.
“No problem, just wanted to make sure you’re ok,” said Pham.
Parkowski spent the rest of the day watching TV and relaxing on her couch. But that night, she couldn’t sleep.
She finally fell asleep at two AM and was still tired when her alarm woke her up at six.
But she didn’t have a choice.
Despite everything on her mind, it was time for her to go back to Venus.
Parkowski drove into work in silence.
There was no one at the security desk, which was odd. She couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t see anyone manning it.
Parkowski shrugged and badged in. As she walked through the hallways, she saw only a few other Aering employees.
She went straight to the locker room and suited up, then continued to the high bay.
Unlike her previous mission, there was a normal-sized crew in the building, maybe even smaller than normal, but it was still before most of the staff arrived. The most senior person was Dr. Pham; Rosen and Khoudry weren’t present.
Pham waved her over to a cubicle and pointed at the screen. “I’ve got the mission brief pulled up,” he told her. “Let’s go through it quickly.”
