“So meanwhile, what do you do for a social life?”
“You know, you have a delicate way of asking rude questions.”
“Okay.” Connolly laughed. “Withdrawn.”
“What the hell, I don’t care. Mostly there isn’t any. Just like any army base. But I suppose there’s enough going on if you look for it. You don’t want to go near the wives-we’ve had a little of that and that’s always trouble. The WACs are something else again. We tried to keep the dormitories off-limits to single men for a while, and it was the WACs who screamed bloody murder, so the parties started right up again. You can’t blame them. Nobody’s allowed to fraternize with the locals for security reasons, so every night’s prom night for the WACs. They’ll never be this popular again.”
“What about Santa Fe?”
“Not much. It’s an old town, and the Spanish won’t even look at you. Albuquerque’s better. Some of the guys go on a spree there if they get a weekend pass, and sometimes we have to go get them out of the tank, but mostly they’re so afraid of getting a dose that they just get drunk and end up at the movies.”
“I found some prophylactics in Bruner’s drawer.”
“Did you?” Mills looked away. “I don’t know what that means.”
“It usually means he was sexually active.”
“One way or the other.”
“Yes, one way or the other.”
“Christ,” Mills said, “I don’t know. Maybe he just kept them around, you know, the way some guys keep them in their wallets.”
“Maybe. But we have to assume they were used sometimes.”
“Look, I know what you’re after, but I can’t help you. I don’t know anything about his sex life. Christ, I can’t even imagine it. He never said a word. I keep trying to think of something he might have said or some look-I mean, we worked in the same office, for God’s sake. All this time. How could you not notice something? I mean, what do you look for, anyway? He was here almost a year and I had no idea. Never. I still can’t believe it.”
“Does it bother you?”
“Of course it bothers me. Wouldn’t it bother you? I mean, I don’t care if he didn’t like women. That’s his business. He could fuck goats for all I care.”
“Then why does it bother you?”
Mills paused and looked at him. “I guess because it means he was another person all along. I never knew it. I mean, what’s the matter with me? Hell of a thing not to know if you’re in security, don’t you think?”
He felt the glow of the drinks as they walked toward Theater-2. His body was still tired but his mind was fresh now, eager to take things in. Everything was sharper in the cold air, bright in the glare of the mounted floodlights around the Tech Area. The whole place seemed not quite real. With its dusty, unnamed streets, its wire fences and plain clapboard buildings, it became a frontier town, but backlit, insubstantial. The strangeness of the mesa delighted him. After months in Washington, with its weighty masonry and stuffy rooms and routine, everything here was raw and new and interesting. There were still ditches in the street to catch the runoff. Even at this late hour, lights burned in the laboratory buildings and MPs walked on patrol. The night air smelled of diesel and pine.
They heard the music even before they got to the building, sawing fiddles of a Western band pouring through the open doors like the soundtrack for a movie saloon. The big room was as smoky and raucous as Connolly expected, but the cowboys were only servicemen in uniforms and bushy-haired civilians dressed up for a night on the town who had, inexplicably, wound up in a barn instead. It was one of the oddest things he had ever seen. At one end of the room, on a raised stage, a make-shift band of soldiers, country boys all, played loud accompaniment to a caller in blue jeans and a bandanna who clapped out the beat as he sang instructions to the dancers. Stamping feet echoed off the polished hardwood floor of the basketball court. There were tables of food and punch bowls and bottles along one wall and folding chairs scattered everywhere but on the dance floor itself. People talked over the music and laughed at their unfamiliarity with the steps. They all seemed to be at the wrong party, moving awkwardly but gamely through their paces, stocky middle-aged men in ties determined to be good sports and young pale men whose jeans looked as stiff and uncomfortable as a second language. Here and there someone executed steps with confident precision, but off-rhythm, as if he had mastered the dance as a matter of scientific principle. What should have been fluid was jerky and tentative, but no one gave up, and the more complicated the maneuver, the more inevitable the missteps and the better they liked them. The fun, for these engineers of perfect measurements, was not caring. Physics had come to a hoedown and seemed to be having a great time. The room hummed with high spirits.
“Quite a party,” Connolly said, smiling.
“Wait till they really start drinking,” Mills said.
