“I can’t tell you that,” she said, then caught herself with a nervous laugh. “Sorry. Force of habit. New Mexico. It’s a secret base, you see. They’re very strict about that. They’re making weapons.”
“What kind of weapons?” he said, his voice lower.
“Bombs. Do you know anything about atomic fission? No, I don’t suppose you do. Nobody does. It doesn’t matter. The point-”
“I know what fission is. There was talk before the war. Nothing since. Do you mean to say they’ve actually gone ahead? I thought it was supposed to be impossible.”
“No, they’ve done it. At least, they think they have. They’re going to test it very soon. That’s why there isn’t any time.”
“Do you know what you’re saying? It’s fantastic.”
“Yes. Funny, you get so used to it, you stop thinking about it that way. But it’s real. Twenty thousand tons of TNT.”
“Jesus.”
Connolly had told her ten. He wondered if she had simply forgotten or had begun to be swept up in her own story. Why not twenty?
“It’s capable of wiping out a whole city,” she said. “Berlin, even.”
“Berlin’s gone.”
“Tokyo, then. They’ll use it somewhere. And there’s something new-it’s not just the explosive power. They can reckon that, but no one knows about the radiation effects. They’re going to use it on people and they don’t even know yet what it will do. And there’s no point now.”
“Slow down.”
“No, let me finish. As long as it’s secret, they will use it. Unless someone makes a stink. The scientists can’t-they’re terrified. But if we don’t get the word out somehow, it’ll be too late. They mustn’t, you see. We’re talking about thousands and thousands of lives, and they’ve already won. Someone’s got to stop them.” Her voice slowed. “Anyway, I thought of you.”
“Me? I don’t understand. Do you want me to put this in the paper?”
“No, of course not. They’d arrest you. It’s a military secret-no paper’s going to be allowed to print it. Otherwise the scientists would just leak it.”
“What, then?”
“We need to get the information out of the country.”
“Out of the country,” he repeated slowly.
“To the Russians. They don’t know.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Yes, it is. There isn’t a single Russian on the project. Brits galore, even Germans, but not one Russian. I know, I live there. Think what that means.”
“What do you think it means?”
“I think they’d make one unholy fuss if they found out-maybe enough to stop all this before it’s too late. They’re the only ones who could now.”
He was quiet for a minute. “Do you know what you’re saying?”
“Yes, I know, it’s an awful chance. But someone has to take it.”
“You, for instance,” he said skeptically. “Joan of Arc.”
“No, not me. I’m just a messenger. Someone on the project.”
“Your husband.”
“No, someone else. I’m-I’m seeing someone else. You needn’t look that way. I’m all grown up, remember?”
“Were you all grown up in Berlin too?” he said. “I’ve often wondered.”
“No. Were you? Look, don’t let’s start. It’s a little late in the day for that. Will you help?”
“You can’t be serious. Do you think I’m a spy?”
“Do you think I am?”
He paused. “I don’t know what to think. It’s all so extraordinary. You coming here like this. Bloody thirty-nine steps. What’s it to do with you, anyway?”
“I told you, I’m a messenger. I want to help him. It wouldn’t be the first time, would it? Surely you remember that.”
“That was different. I never asked you to do anything like this. Anyway, why you?”
“Because I know you. I couldn’t think of anyone else. Do you think if I had, I’d have come to you? You’re the last person I’d ask for help. But as it happens, you are the last person. I’m not exactly on speakers with the other comrades. They’d never believe me.”
“But I would.”
“I thought you might,” she said softly. “Maybe I was wrong. Still, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to believe me. I have some papers. Here,” she said. Connolly heard her take out the envelope. “Let someone else decide.”
“You are serious. What is it?”
“Scientific information about the project. A part of it. People only know parts. But Steven has more. Give them to somebody who’ll know what they mean. I wouldn’t have the faintest, and neither would you, so don’t even bother. But they’ll know. And they’ll know he’s real. He just wants to talk to somebody, that’s all. While there’s time.”
“What makes you think I can do this?”
“You know people-you were always good at that. Look, Matthew, I never said you were a spy, whatever that means. Maybe you are-I don’t care, so much the better. All the comrades are a little bit, aren’t they? They all like a bit of intrigue between meetings. Anyway, you don’t have to spy on anybody. Just pass it on and there’s an end to it. Nothing to do with you. Nothing to do with me. Let the comrades decide.”
“You haven’t changed. You always hated them.”
“I hated what they did to you.”
“And now you want to help them.”
“Maybe I don’t care what they do to you anymore.”
In the silence, Connolly could hear a coffee spoon clank against the cup. Don’t quarrel, he wanted to shout. Not yet. You haven’t got him yet.
“I never meant to hurt you,” he said.
