Maia полностью

"We were both glad to agree to the wishes of so good a father. Eud-Ecachlon and I, we haven't much in common; but he's never grudged me the inheritance my father promised me. And the Subans-well, they were delighted. To them I've always been 'Anda-Nokomis'-the Dragonfly's boy. The year I was sixteen I traveled over almost every mile of the province-by boat, mostly-meeting the people, getting to understand their problems and dissensions and so on, as well as a youth of that age can. I was starting as I meant to go on."

Bayub-Otal drank deeply; then got up and began pacing the room, his light, cream-colored robes swishing softly each time he turned about.

"Well, you know what happened, I dare say?"

"No, my lord. You forget, I'm only sixteen and not been long in Bekla at that. You're talking to a girl from the Tonildan Waste."

"Well, Shakkarn be thanked for that!" answered he. "Nearly seven years ago-oh, I must be careful what I say, mustn't I?"

"Why, my lord?"

"You know why. And yet," said Bayub-Otal, stopping in his walk and looking directly at Maia where she sat at the table, her cloud of golden hair framing her face and shoulders, "and yet, why should I? My feelings-the High Counselor, the Sacred Queen-they'd be stupider than oxen, wouldn't they, if they hadn't known from the start what I felt when the King of Terekenalt took Suba with their connivance?"

"When was that, then, my lord?"

"When you were about eight or nine years old. That's to say, when the Leopards came to power."

Maia recalled what Occula had told her. "When the Sacred Queen first came to Bekla, my lord?"

"Ah, yes, the Sacred Queen! Fornis of Paltesh! Have you ever seen her?"

"No, my lord, that I never."

"Well, I dare say you will before long. She was the only daughter of the High Baron of Paltesh, and when she became Sacred Queen-when Senda-na-Say was murdered and the Leopards made Durakkon High Baron of Bekla-King Harnat crossed the Zhairgen and took Suba for Terekenalt. Fornis had told him that Baltesh would offer no resistance. In return, he was to take no further advantage of the civil disturbances caused by the Leopard revolt. It was a very good bargain-for him. He knew Urtah couldn't resist him unsupported."

Stopping beside Maia, Bayub-Otal half-sat on the edge of the table and stared down at her bleakly, covering his mutilated hand with his other sleeve.

"But if you were the rightful heir of Suba, my lord," said Maia, "then why-" She stopped, overcome with embarrassment. Would he give her the same answer as Kem-bri? How did he see it? she could not help wondering.

"Why haven't they killed me? That's what you mean, isn't it?"

She nodded dumbly.

"Oh, no, Maia; why bother to make a martyr, when you've already got something much better-an ineffective, contemptible loser on public display? The High Baron's bastard son, who can't even draw a bow or cut up a chicken?-a fellow not worth the killing; unless he starts making a nuisance of himself, of course. Perhaps if I were to cross the Valderra into Suba-oh, yes, if I were just to go home, as any ordinary man's free to go-that might be grounds for putting me to death, I dare say. But the dancing-girl's dispossessed son, a man who can't even see any way to avenge his own honor, left free to kick his heels-

to take to drink, perhaps, or chasing worthless girls; to be a laughing-stock behind his back-"

Maia was genuinely moved to see tears in his eyes. She put a hand on his arm.

"What's the good, my lord? Trouble-the whole world's full of trouble; worse nor yours, and mine too. But we're here in a clean, warm room. We're not hungry or cold or ill. You've money, and wine-yes, and me, too, if you want. Far as we know, neither of us is goin' to die just yet. There's thousands as that'd be more than enough for."

He touched her forehead with his lips. "Yes, of course."

"Listen, my lord. There's a girl with me now in the High Counselor's house. You talk about loss and trouble-"

She began to tell him about Milvushina, but after a time he stopped her, resuming his restless pacing.

"Strange things happen, don't they? An enslaved girl's loved honorably for years, by a High Baron; and a baron's daughter's enslaved and becomes the victim of a filthy libertine."

" 'Tis all a dream, my lord. That's what old Drigga used to say-her as told the stories back home. When Lespa wakes us-"

"Now do you understand why I don't feel inclined to go to bed with you-or with any girl? Do you think I'd buy a girl's body, or compel a girl to bed with me, after what I've told you; yes, and after what you've just told me? This whole city's full of wretched girls yielding to men because they've no choice. And wouldn't those men love to see me become as dissolute as themselves?"

"You take it too hard, my lord, that you do. It's pleasure and comfort, after all. Where's the harm, long as the girl's willing-?"