Maia полностью

She lay down on the bed to wait. A long time seemed to pass. It grew dark and the half-moon, already risen during the day, stood bright in the sky and shone in through the window. Moths fluttered and dropped about the lamps. She became impatient, then angry, then mortified and at last bitterly disappointed, lonely and depressed. So he hadn't taken her seriously after all! Yet it hadn't seemed like that during supper. No doubt he'd already got a girl somewhere in Melvda. It was only too likely-a young fellow like that. Or else the king had sent him off on some errand or other. But he might at least have let her know-sent a soldier or something. Well, she might as well go to bed. damn and double-damn Suba, baste the frogs, baste the blasted marshes! Black Kantza-Merada come and rip up Karnat and all his-

At this moment there were footsteps outside, a quiet knock at the door, and Zen-Kurel's voice called "Maia?"

He had brought a number of daggers for her to choose from, but after a short time they found themselves entirely agreed upon the one to suit her. It answered well in the hand and fitted its sheath perfectly.

She lay in serene joy, her head on Zen-Kurel's shoulder, one arm across his waist, her hair tumbled over his chest. The relief, the ease, the beautiful, smooth tranquility of her body, was like a transformation. She no longer felt the same girl. Everything-the marshes, the mud, the grimy soldiers, Bayub-Otal, Lenkrit-was changed and become acceptable in a warm haze of delicious, sleepy amazement and satisfaction. She felt equal, now, to all of them-equal to anything. O Shakkarn, he was marvelous! She'd never imagined anyone could be so marvelous. Tharrin, Sednil- how far off, how contemptible! There was no comparison. Whatever could she have been thinking of? She pushed the thought of them impatiently away, like a mistress rebuking some loutish servant-"Don't bring those things in here!" There were no words, no thoughts even, to express her joy. It lay all about her, hanging like crystal over the bed, filling the shadows of the room, pouring from her own body. She herself was the source of joy, a still center,

a fountain for the world. This, she now knew, was the man she loved and would never cease to love.

"Are you crying?" he asked suddenly. "My shoulder's wet!"

"I'm so happy!"

"It really meant so much to you?"

"Not did-does. It does-it always will! If only you knew how much!"

"You needed it, then."

"Oh, Zenka, it's much, much more than that-really it is. Do believe me! Yes, I did need, it but-oh, I don't want to go saying a lot of stuff as you mayn't Want to hear. I dare say you meet a lot of girls-"

He put one hand on her shoulder, gently pushed her over onto her back and silenced her by placing his other hand over her mouth.

"No; no, not like you, Maia. Can't you tell? You ought to be able to. You're far and away the most beautiful girl I've ever known in my life. When you came up to the landing-stage this morning, you looked like a goddess, do you know that? Everyone said so-even the king. Those yellow lilies-to tell you the truth, I've been able to think of nothing else but you all day. I'm utterly in love with you. I love you-sincerely."

"Do you know-" She hesitated. Then, "Can I tell you something?"

He waited silently. The tears were standing in her eyes. They glittered but did not fall, and after a moment she brushed them away.

"When I was just a banzi, my stepfather basted me because I was beautiful. Then my mother found out and hated me, because I was beautiful. The slave-traders bought me because I was beautiful. They got fifteen thousand meld for me in Bekla because I was beautiful. And after that- oh, never mind. Now you say you love me because I'm beautiful-"

"Well, you are," he answered composedly, smiling and not in the least disconcerted by her outburst. "What's all that got to do with us? That's over now. None of those people matter to us. You wouldn't really like it if I said you weren't beautiful, would you? You're just imagining trouble where there isn't any, my darling. It's pointless to ask would I love you if you weren't beautiful. That's like saying would I love you if you were someone else."

She laughed. He made everything so easy. It was like waking up to a new day after a good night's sleep. A little early morning mist on the lake, but the sun was quickly dispersing it.

Later, after they had made love again, she suddenly said, "Reckon you can have all my authority: I don't need it now."

"Your whatV He was puzzled.

"Oh-I was just sort of making a joke all to myself, really. A great friend of mine-kind of a rather tough girl, like, in Bekla-told me once that when you were with a man you should always be sure to hang on to your authority. But it's much nicer not to." She sat up, looking down at him through her falling hair. "My lover! My lord! Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. There, so much for my authority!" She made a gesture of throwing something away.