“Ah, the damsel in distress in space movie. I have seen it. Clooney gets killed trying to save the bimbo.” Hu Gong continued his rant with, “… Just like Titanic Jack. So very sad… but you know what?”
“Whats that Sir?”
“At least Rose didn’t look like a man.”
After a few more incisive observations, Gong eventually returned to this new Russian satellite
“So Russia? Really? But why and why now? We are the closest thing to an ally right now.”
Hu Gong’s secretary knocked and peeped in. “Sir, the Foreign Minister and the Finance Minister want to meet you today.”
“Both?”
“Yes Sir. At the same time.”
“What? Same time?”
“Yes Sir.”
“Regarding?”
“Japan and Germany. They both want a trillion dollars in compensation for their destroyed factories. Or else they are threatening to move their factories to India or South Africa.”
“Panda’s anus!” whispered the chief of the Ministry of State Security.
“Sir?”
“The Baboon and the Gorilla are fondling the idiot Bear.”
“I’m sorry to hear that Sir,” replied the secretary, “Is this at the Beijing Zoo or the Chengdu Zoo, Sir?”
It all made perfect sense. Other than the United States and maybe Mossad, no one had the balls to pull off such a flagrant stunt on Chinese soil. The Uighurs? Please, not those goat herders. Tibetans? Those pacifists? Buddha no. Indians? Bold democracies didn’t exist. Taipei, Seoul, Pyongyang? No, no and hell no. But then of course there was the forlorn, forgotten yet capable bear.
There were four land crossings with Russia, mostly permitting day trips for Chinese traders and Russian babushkas. Security was pretty lax up there in Siberia. Russian special agents from the SVR, dressed as babushkas could have easily slipped in. Or perhaps it was the Asiatic Russian agents. Either way it would have been easy.
“What?” responded Hu Gong.
“I’m sorry to hear that Sir… Or is it the Shanghai Zoo?” persisted the secretary.
“Zoo? What the fuck are you talking about? Get out. All of you. Tell those morons at Foreign Affairs and Finance to jerk each other off.”
“Oh. So should I cancel those meetings, Sir?”
“Are you deaf? Tell them exactly what I said. And tell the Premier I need to see him now.”
“Yes Sir.”
“And you nerds,” Hu Gong turned to the SIGINT men, “what the fuck are you waiting for? Get out. Go.”
Hu seethed and stormed around his office. He opened his door and barked at his other secretary, “Get me Liang on the phone.” Liang was his own henchman in the MSS.
43 seconds later Liang was on Line 3.
“Boss?”
“I want you to check on the three Siberian crossings with Russia. I want you, personally, to see every face that came in — Russian and Chinese — and bring me a list of suspects.”
“Ok. How far back should I go?”
“Three months.”
His secretary popped in, “Sir the Premier is free for the next hour.”
Hu Gong had already stormed out of his palatial office. The security guard outside his door immediately signaled the agency’s fleet of armored Audis to get ready. The boss was out on a hunting trip.
“Madam, the Chinese Premier Wong Xiannian is on the line,” informed an assistant.
Anna Petrova motioned for Sergey Luzkhov, her foreign minister to leave the room.
She picked up the phone, “Evening Wong.”
“Madam President thank you for taking my call at such short notice.”
“Call me Anna. Here at the Kremlin, the doors are open 24x7… especially for old friends.” She had emphasized the old part.
“Yes of course Madam… Anna. It’s just that, a few hours back your Foreign Minister issued a very disturbing threat against our great nation. When we brought up a train mishap in Guangdong, Minister Luzkhov said he was willing to turn us into a bowl of teriyaki sauce… if we didn’t drop the matter.”
“Oh that’s so offensive. I apologize to your People. He keeps forgetting Teriyaki is Japanese. How ignorant of him?”
“Madam… Anna, that’s clearly not the point. He issued a threat…”
“Mr. President relax. On my first day in office, Sergey threatened me. Then he threatened our FSB head. Last week he even threatened the American Secretary of State. He probably threatened Pyongyang and Paris before breakfast. It’s what he does.”
“Hmm. I see… So you don’t think Sergey is out of line?”
“Nope. I stand by him and his ministry.”
“And you have no explanation for the train incident…”
“Like I said, I stand by Sergey. Whatever he said is probably true.”
“This is going to be a problem, Anna.”
“I am getting tired Xiannian. You are either a friend of the Federation or a foe of the Federation. Choose wisely.”
Wong Xiannian slammed his magenta phone. “Fucking bitch… that fucking bitch… It wasn’t rogue elements in the Russian government. It was an authorized hit. That… Hu, close all our land crossings, suspend visas to Russians, send their envoy back,” screamed the Chinese Premier.
