“Where can I find isotonics around here?” I sighed overly loudly, glancing along the row of vending machines, casting sidelong glances at the goblin buying water.
“You lookin’ for nuts? Salt tablets?” The goblin looked at me. “Over there, to the right, dude. You come into some cash or something? Nice shirt! Black, huh? What’s up with your face? And what’s that shit on your legs?”
I should have expected as much. Give a goblin the slightest chance, and he’ll babble on and on. I kept it polite, briefly describing my recent situation while I bought the ‘salt tablets’, as he called them. Officially, they were known as NTS-9.
Nuts...
I had a vivid mental image of a glowing poster on the screens, with a stern goblin in a torn t-shirt knitting his eyebrows, pointing at me: ‘Have you put nuts in your mouth today, goblin?’
Buy nuts! Put nuts in your mouth! Embrace the nuts!
They cost one sol each. I bought ten, then immediately handed one to the greedy, sniffling goblin, saved one for myself, and put the rest in my belt bag. The goblin accepted my gift gratefully, shoved it into the bottle he had just bought, and shook it violently. As he shook it, he looked at me expectantly — like he was waiting for me to start answering his questions. But he would have to be satisfied with his free isotonic. It was my turn to ask questions, but I would ask in the form of a good answer. Yawning lazily, I said:
“I wouldn’t say I got rich. Ran into some pluxes. They hit us hard, as you can see.”
“That’s for sure.”
“But we got ‘em in the end.”
“Yeah, I can see that, dude!”
“We sold the pluxes to a brigade — the Solar Flame. Heard of ‘em?”
“Who hasn’t, dude? They’re a production brigade! The strongest in the whole area. I’d give anything to even be a cleaner for them. But they don’t take just anyone. J-jerks...”
“I got this t-shirt from them,” I continued “And a few sol too, of course. But there was one question I forgot to ask them. Why the hell do they want plux corpses?”
“Are you for real, dude? At least tell me you got a good deal? Gray pluxes never go for less than five apiece. And that’s if they’re small. And still fresh...”
“That’s what I got for ‘em.”
“That’s great, dude!”
“But why do they want ‘em?”
“The Lamers have a whole processing facility nearby!”
“Who? Lamers?”
“Yeah, the Lamers! We call ‘em that, since Solar Flame is too long. It started out as Flamers — We’d be like, ‘The Flamers are looking for haulers at I-17 again! They’ll even take zombies!’ And then they just kinda turned into the Lamers.”
“From Flamers to Lamers,” I said. “Hmm. Think twice, name once.”
“For sure! Heh heh heh.”
“A processing facility?”
Yeah, that’s where they process the pluxes. They gut ‘em, rip off the skins, and dress ‘em. Then cook the meat! There’s an eatery next to where they work, and they’ll grill it, boil it, or stew it, whatever you want. Everyone says it’s great. But there’s no way to find out — what goblin has spare sol for grilled meat?”
“So you can eat pluxes...”
“Yeah, of course! Are you serious? Man, if I had a sharp knife, a little salt, and somewhere to cook... I’ll tell you, dude, I know a couple places with pipes as hot as can be! Throw a piece of meat on and it’ll cook up in no time! And that smell... Mmm...”
“Mmm...” I agreed, as the goblin threw his head back, reminiscing.
After a moment, he sighed sadly, tucked his bottle under his armpit, and jabbed at me with a dirty finger:
“Just remember that, you hear?”
“For sure. What do they do with the plux hides?”
“Come on, man! They’re a goldmine! Over in Drainagetown, plux-skin shoes sell like wildfire! You can make clothes from them too — they’re tough enough that some knives can’t get through. And people who live in the Stench just can’t live without plux-skin shoes, since they’re always wading through that shit full of sharp objects and caustic substances.”
“The Stench?”
“Yeah.”
“Where’s that?”
“So you know about Drainagetown, since you didn’t ask.”
“It’s come up.”
“Well, okay. So if you head straight out of Drainagetown, the paths will take you to the Cursed Bridge. Heard of that?”
“Yeah. What about the Stench?”
“Can you spare another salt tablet for this poor one-armed goblin?”
“I can — if you give me more details. I took out the nut, rolling it between my fingers in front of him. “Well?”
“Once you get to the middle of the Cursed Bridge, look to your left. You’ll see a wall off in the distance with a long gap above it. The waterfall that trickles out is also called the Gutterfall.”
“What a creative name.”
“Hey, it’s accurate! Since it flows from the Stench, it’s basically just a gutter! Hand over the tablet!”
“Where does the waterfall flow to?”
“It’s not complicated. Most of the shit goes down the grate leading into the Drainagetown canals. And the rest of it overflows down into the Stagnant Cesspool.”
“So, along the paths to the Cursed Bridge, the Gutterfall to the left, over the Stagnant Cesspool, all the way to Drainagetown, which is the upper district of Murkwaters. Is that the fastest way to the town?”
