The hunchback returned to sweeping as the giant spun a vacant chair around to face him. Then he wiped off and patted the seat inviting her to sit. “Sit down honey.”
“Thank you.” Said Betty.
“What are you a reporter or something?” Asked Anvil.
“No." Said Betty
“But you follow boxing? Do you know who I am?”
“No.”
He looked confused and lost in thought for a moment.
Betty stated in a clear voice, “I'd like to learn how to fight.”
“Why do you want to learn how to fight? There aren't any women's leagues. You can't fight guys.” Anvil couldn’t seem to work out the word puzzle she presented. So Betty clarified.
“I don't want to learn how to box as a sport. I want to learn how to protect myself. I was in a situation where I was…hurt…badly. I don't want that to happen again. Next time I want to know how to control the situation. I want to be able to defeat my opponent and escape unscathed.”
He nodded. “I understand now.”
“Can you teach me? I have money.” She patted her purse again.
He chucked and said, “As much as I’d love to take your money, I don’t think I could teach you how to fight like me. I mean, I’m sure you can learn, but it might not help you.”
His words struck at her pride. “Why not?” She asked.
“You see, boxing takes lots of upper body strength, and lot's of muscle. Look at these arms.”
He leaned in and flexed his right biceps for her. It popped to life and strained the seams of his shirtsleeve.
“Go ahead feel it. That arm KO-ed 108 wise guys back in my hay-days.”
Betty shot him an uncomfortable glance and he continued.
“Go ahead. Don’t worry. It won’t hurt you. Not from that angle, anyways.”
She felt it with her delicate hand. It was big and hard like an Easter ham.
“You see?” Having illustrated his point he reclined back into his chair, nodding confidently.
“And… well don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a girl and you’re kind of scrawny.”
They stared at each other for minute and then Betty was about to leave. She was frustrated and insulted. But before she could go, the Anvil remembered something.
“Come to think of it though…I did see a really scrawny guy throw a beatin’ to a big fella once. He was a little Chinaman not much bigger than you. The fight wasn't in the ring it was on the streets. Me, Big Lou, the Lumberjack and Eddie were out celebrating Hooper the Hammer's retirement. We was dancing and singing, and we drank till we were pickled. I remember, somehow Eddies shoe fell off, and it took him about ten minutes to put it back on.”
His story was punctuated by his own laughter. “He, he, he was bending over for it. His hands were moving all around like this. He thought the shoe was moving around on it’s own, and he couldn’t grab it.”
“Ha, ha, then he fell over on his butt, ah, ha, ha. He, he threw his own drink in his own face as he fell. Ha, he, he was convinced the shoe did it, ha, har, ha, ho. So he grabs the shoe and starts choking it, ah, ha, ha, like the shoe was the one that threw the drink at him. Ha, ho, ho, oh, he was cursing the shoe, oh my gosh.”
Betty was listening, and nodded, but wondered where this story was headed. The Anvil, wiped the tears of laughter from his face. He could see that Betty wasn't laughing.
“I guess you had to be there.” He calmed himself and continued.
“A little while later, a Chinaman walks into the bar with a bag of laundry. He worked at a place that warshed the tablecloths and napkins for Benny's. Benny's was the name of the place we was at.”
Betty nodded. “Um, hmm.”
“So I’m not sure what exactly the Chinaman did to get Eddie so mad, but Eddie took a swing at him, and he missed. Keep in mind Eddie never misses. He's a big guy, not big like me, but big. Man, did Eddie have fast hands. He could throw a fist like a cannon firing a cannonball. I wonder why we never called him cannonball? That would have been a good name for him…I don't know. Well, after a few minutes they started mixing it up.”
The Anvil stood to reenact the fight. “So Eddie’s firing fists at him like a machine gun and the Chinaman is bobbing and weaving around him. Eddie couldn’t tag him. So Eddie starts cursing and yelling things like…”
He stopped himself.
“Well, stuff a lady doesn’t need to hear. Eddie says something that finally gets under the Chinaman’s yellow skin, and he started fighting back. He was hopping around and kicking at him. He seemed to be all around him at once. He was chopping at Eddie with his hands, like this.”
Anvil clumsily demonstrated in the air.
“Eddie couldn't tag him. Eddie didn’t even hit the Chinaman one time. But every blow the Chinaman dealt, connected. It was like Eddie was struck by lightning about a hundred times. Then Eddie starts wobbling around like this.”
Anvil continued to perform the events.
“You could kind of see in his eyes that he knew the floor was coming for him soon. I’m not even sure where the Chinaman hit Eddie to finally knock him down, but he did. And Eddie went the floor with a, whack! And he was out cold.“