Light from outside comes in through slits in the ceiling revealing eight female statues, each chiseled into the rockface. The gothic statues fall somewhere between beautiful craftsmanship and horror, especially the statue of a woman with her arm outstretched holding her fist through a skull.
Hiccup immediately moves to a statue of a woman with piles of rupees around her feet. He places his mechanical hand on the rupees, bows his head, and starts to pray in Thulean.
“Don’t mind him,” Zaena tells Ryuk after she catches his confused glance. “That’s the Goddess of Luck.”
“Zip it, Liz, I’m trying to pray,” Hiccup says before launching back in. “
The air on Wolf’s neck stands to attention.
“What do you see, boy?” FeeTwix asks, but before he can say anything else, Wolf takes off down another hallway.
“
Ryuk steps in front of a statue of a naked woman, her belly cut open and a dragon’s tail slipping into it. “This one is very interesting.”
“I like this one.” FeeTwix stands before a statue of a woman with a giant hammer slung over her shoulder. She’s muscular, buxom, and she wears a crop top and a pair of tight shorts, the only one of the statues not in some sort of dress.
“That’s the Goddess of Tradeskills. She’s popular, especially amongst the various smiths across the continents. Let me see your Marble Gun, Ryuk.”
Ryuk unholsters it, pops the mag out for safety reasons, and hands it to the Thulean, the business end of the gun pointing downward.
“See here?” she says, touching the Thulean carved into his weapon. As she does so, the words light up green. “That’s her name there, and this part is asking for her blessing.” Her ears twitch. “Do you hear that?”
Wolf’s yelps ricochet down the long tunnel ahead.
“Heads up!” FeeTwix shouts.
“Goblin, right; FeeTwix, left; Ryuk, back as far as possible!” Zaena calls out. The Thulean quickly hands Ryuk’s gun back to him and positions herself in the center of the chamber. She rises into the air, suspended by her ghost limbs.
The rest of the Mitherfickers take their position, Hiccup grumbling at Zaena’s perceived racism. They hear Wolf’s yelps growing louder, accompanied by the patter of hooves against the stone floor.
“Whatever it is, it’s fucking big!” FeeTwix, in his element, has one of the largest weapons Ryuk has ever seen in his hands. It’s silver, with a Kevlar tipped base handle attached to the central power unit and a plasma shell counter flashing red on its side. “BFG 9000-S12B,” the Swede tells his audience as it powers up. “Don’t leave home without one!”
“Fickin’ hell, Twixy!” Hiccup calls over the rumble coming from the tunnel. “That thing is going to fick up your life bar, tactical vest or not!”
A healing potion appears in the Swede’s semi-gloved hand. He quickly stuffs it in the pocket of his overcoat. “That’s what this is for!”
Wolf blasts out of the hole with true fear in his eyes. He blazes past Ryuk, and as he does, Ryuk sees the horns of a dark-skinned bovine.
Underground Auroch Level 20
HP: 666/666
ATK: 221
MATK: 0
DEF: 342
MDF: 119
LUCK: 1
Hiccup screams like a sissy as the muscled auroch tears into the chamber. The beast immediately tosses FeeTwix off his feet, who just so happens to squeeze the trigger of his futuristic weapon, blasting the Goddess of Luck statue to kibbles and bits and leaving a hole in the wall big enough to fit a dumpster.
“For fick’s sake, Twixy, get something less destructive!” Hiccup shouts as a large piece of the ceiling falls between him and the auroch.
The beast snorts smoke, scratches its hoof against the ground, and takes aim at Ryuk.
His marble gun trained before him, Ryuk just barely manages to fire off an explosive round before the underground bull connects with him.
Up in the air Ryuk goes, where he’s immediately caught by one of Zaena’s ghost limbs. She brings him to the ground safely enough, swings around, and tries to come down on top of the auroch, who is making a circle around the chamber looking for targets.
The auroch bucks and groans as Zaena’s blades connect with its thick hide.
Ryuk looks at Wolf, who’s in the hallway that they came in from, tracking the creature with his blue-green eyes. From there he looks to Hiccup, who has produced his largest shield and is hiding behind it, nursing a healing potion.
“Are you guys serious!?” FeeTwix asks as he swipes a poll away.
The Swede equips the boombox and House of Pain’s “Jump Around” starts up. Before it can get past the trumpet intro, the auroch charges him and he tosses the boombox at it.
