‘That’s not so old. Not these days. Just look around, Parsifal. Where are the young men? There aren’t any. Not in Berlin. I can’t remember the last time I spoke to someone less than thirty. Anyone my age is on active service or in a concentration camp. Youth is no longer wasted on the young because it’s wasted on the war instead.’ She winced. ‘Forget I said that. I shouldn’t have said that. They’re fighting for their country, aren’t they?’
‘They’re fighting for someone else’s country,’ I said. ‘That’s the problem.’
Arianne looked sly for a moment, as if she’d outsmarted me in a game of cards. ‘It’s not healthy putting your head under a falling axe, Parsifal. You could get into trouble.’
‘I don’t mind a little trouble, when it looks like you, angel.’
‘That’s what you say now. But you haven’t seen me throwing crockery.’
‘Volatile, huh?’
‘Like my boiling point was on the moon.’
‘Smart, too. I’m not sure I’m qualified to be your special counsel, Fräulein Tauber. I don’t know the boiling point on the moon from my own shoe-size.’
She glanced down at my feet. ‘I’ll bet you’re a forty-six, right?’
‘Mmm-hmm.’
‘Then, for a lot of liquids with higher vapour pressures, the boiling point and your shoe-size are probably the same.’
‘If that’s true then I’m impressed.’
‘Before the war I was a chemistry student.’
‘Why did you stop?’
‘Lack of money. Lack of opportunity. The Nazis like educated women almost as little as they like educated Jews. They prefer us to stay home polishing the hearth and stirring the pot.’
‘Not me.’
She tugged my wrist toward her and checked the time on my watch. ‘I have to go back to the cloakroom in a minute.’
‘I could wait but I might need to telephone the Reichs-bank to arrange a loan.’
‘It might be worth it, Parsifal. I finish at two. You could walk me home if you like. Better still you could drive me, if you have a car.’
‘I have a car. I just don’t have any petrol. And I’ll gladly walk you home. But I don’t think Frau Lippert would approve, do you?’
‘I said you could walk me home, not up the stairs. But if ever you did walk me up the stairs it’s actually none of her business. And she knows that, too. The other night, she was just mouthing off. If I hadn’t had that sock on the jaw I might have told her to shut up and mind her own business and she would have done. Up to a point. There’s nothing in our agreement that says I can’t have gentlemen friends in my room for a little quiet conversation. It’s hard to hear everything you say in a place like this. You need to speak up. I’m a little deaf.’
‘Now you tell me.’
‘That’s because last year I was near Kottbusser Strasse when a tame Tommy went off.’
A tame Tommy was what Berliners called an unexploded bomb.
‘It blew me through the air. Fortunately I landed in some bushes that broke my fall. But, for a few glorious moments, I thought I was dead.’
‘Why glorious?’
‘Haven’t you ever wanted to be dead? I have. Sometimes life is just so much trouble. Don’t you think so?’
I nodded. ‘Yes. I’ve wanted that, too. Quite recently as a matter of fact. I go to bed wanting to blow my brains out and wake up wondering why I didn’t do it. I guess that’s why I’m here. You make a very diverting alternative to the idea of self-slaughter.’
‘I’m glad about that, Parsifal. Hey, I don’t even know your name. And I should know something about you if I’m going to let you walk me home, don’t you think?’
‘My name is Bernhard Gunther.’
She nodded and closed her eyes as if she was trying to visualize my name in her mind’s eye. ‘Bernhard Gunther. Hmm. Yes.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Sssh. I’m trying to connect with it. I’m a little bit psychic, you see.’
‘While you’re there see if you can’t get a fix on where I’ve left my Postal Savings Bank Book. There’s five hundred marks in there I’d like to get my hands on.’
She opened her eyes. ‘That’s a solid name, Bernhard Gunther. Dependable. Honest. And wealthy with it, too. I can do a lot with five hundred marks. This is looking good. Tell me, what kind of work does Bernie Gunther do?’ She pressed her hands together in supplication. ‘No, wait. Let me guess.’
‘It’s better that I tell you.’
‘You don’t think I can’t guess? I’m certain you were in the Army. But now, I’m not sure. If you were on leave then it’s been quite a long one, hasn’t it? So maybe you were wounded. Although you don’t look like a man who was wounded. Then again maybe you got injured in the head. And that might be why you say you’re suicidal. A lot of boys are these days. I mean a lot. Only they don’t put that kind of thing in the newspapers because it’s bad for morale. Frau Lippert had another lodger who was a corporal in a police battalion and he hanged himself off a canal bridge in Moabit. He was a nice boy. You know, I might say you were a civil servant but you’re a little too muscular for that. And the suit – well, no civil servant would ever wear a suit like that.’
‘Arianne. Listen to me.’
‘You’re no fun at all, Gunther.’
‘I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about why I’m here.’
‘What does that mean?’
