But even though it could be her only chance, and even though she’s suddenly desperate to ask him what the fuck she should do, she knows Diego hates messes he can’t easily wipe away. Besides, the more she dwells on the whole thing, the bigger an issue it will become. She’ll stick to her plan: she’ll focus on work and the girls and stay out of Seb and Rosie’s way. In time, all this will be so buried it’ll feel as though none of it ever happened at all. The woman she used to be will fade and maybe one day Abi will struggle to remember what she was like, what her name even was. She kicks her legs, sips her champagne, forces herself to forget yesterday, and does what she’s always done best: she dreams about tomorrow.
Chapter 8
Seb catches himself whistling down the corridor, notebook and pen in hand, making his way through the science block that hasn’t changed in decades. He’s meeting with some of the Year 11 parents to discuss how best to prepare and support their children through their GCSE year. It’s one of the changes he promised during his interview and a proposal that Harriet – the chair of governors – especially welcomed. As head teacher, Seb wants to have more direct communication with the parents, especially during important exam years. Yes. Seb is back on track – all that bullshit last week was scary and no doubt it will continue to be awkward when he sees Abi at the school gates, but they’ve promised to stay out of each other’s way and, most importantly, Rosie seems to believe his lie about Lily and a situation at school. Eddy is his best mate. He’ll keep his secret and there’s no need for Rosie to ever know the duplicitous man she married. He’s going to let all his grubby secrets go. From now on, this new, reborn Seb is going to appreciate the extraordinarily good fortune of his life. He’s going to love Rosie better, actually book that romantic weekend away instead of just planning it in his head. From now on he’ll be more patient with the kids – perhaps they could introduce a day when all five of them play board games all day and paint pictures of each other. Maybe that last bit is optimistic. Maybe it should be just half a day but, whatever, Seb is feeling good and believes for the first time that he is going to survive everything that’s happened. Better than survive, in fact – the whole experience is going to make him change his ways.
Even though it’s a school rule that no teachers use their phones outside of the staff room, he can’t resist texting Rosie a quick,
He reaches classroom 6D where Harriet is standing in front of a few rows of parents. Harriet – a retired teacher herself – likes to be involved.
Harriet turns and says, ‘Afternoon, Mr Kent. Good to see you.’
Seb walks confidently into the classroom, smiles at the whole room and says to Harriet, ‘Please call me Seb.’ He addresses the seated rows of parents, all of whom he recognizes. ‘Afternoon, everyone.’
Eddy and Anna are both working so can’t come along. But that’s OK; they are reassured Seb will be looking out for his godson.
‘We were just running through the agenda.’ Harriet beams at him and raises a hand towards the empty chair positioned next to her own at the front of the classroom. Seb nod-walks to his seat as Harriet turns back to her notes.
He sees her as soon as he sits. She’s in the third row, close to the window, a denim jacket slung over her lap, her ringed hands loosely clasping each other, her head tilted to one side, and that mouth – oh God, that mouth that made him do unspeakable things – is smiling at him.
She must be mad.
Seb stares at Abi; it’s like she’s got her hand around his windpipe and is squeezing.
What does she want from him?
He remembers her voice. The faint rasp of it.
Seb leans forward, over his knees, coughs into his hand. Harriet starts fussing about fetching him a glass of water but he waves his hand at her, feels his eyes bulging in their sockets, his neck straining against his collar, looks up at the gently concerned faces before him and says, ‘Excuse me, sorry everyone.’
When she’s reassured that he has recovered, Harriet says, ‘Well, maybe that’s my cue to hand over to you, Seb, and ask you to address our first item: exam anxiety; how to spot it and support your child through it.’
Standing, Seb plugs his laptop into the classroom’s interactive whiteboard and immediately launches into his slideshow, never once looking back at Abi.