She pictures him, standing in the corner of the kitchen, the phone pressed close to his mouth, his beautiful brown eyes full of too much worry for someone so young, and she aches to be with him. She swallows hard so she doesn’t cry and says, ‘OK, darling, I’m coming home, I’m coming home now.’
She showers quickly and dresses in Anna’s softest clothes, tucking her crumpled dress into the bottom of the bag and ignoring the receptionist as she rushes out into the grey, expressionless morning.
Heath is waiting for her at the front door when she arrives, and they hurry to hold each other. His body is tense, full of shock, and she tries to soften her own to calm him. Heath has always feared anything he can’t control. Across the road, their neighbour Martin, his youngest daughter hanging off his arm, calls her name. She waves, briefly, and says to Heath, ‘Come on, let’s go in.’
Heath holds on to her, like he’s worried she’ll make a run for it if he doesn’t cling on. The house feels empty even though it’s not. Greer has fallen into a slack-faced, wide-eyed trance in front of the TV. Rosie kisses her and now it’s Greer’s turn to cling to her. Upstairs, Rosie can hear Sylvie singing to herself. They’re all here. They’re all fine.
‘Dad’s probably still in the kitchen,’ Heath says, still holding her hand.
Rosie kisses Greer’s forehead again and gently pulls her hand away from Heath. ‘Give us a couple of minutes to talk, OK, sweethearts?’ Heath looks worried, thinking they’ll argue, that Rosie will run again, so she explains. ‘We need to talk so we can figure out if we’re ready to say sorry,’ she says and he nods in agreement before he slumps down on the sofa next to his little sister.
Seb is still in his pyjamas, sitting on the sofa in the extension, his legs wide and his elbows balanced on his knees, his fingers in his hair. He looks up at the sound of her footsteps and in his weary face Rosie sees her own fear and confusion reflected back. He stands up. ‘You’re here.’
‘Heath called.’
Seb pats his pockets, realizes he doesn’t have his phone. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know …’
‘Doesn’t matter.’ Rosie shakes her head; she doesn’t want to be distracted when they only have a few minutes to figure out how they’re going to break their children’s hearts. ‘They know something’s happened. We need to work out what to say.’
Seb nods. ‘I’ll go along with whatever you want to tell them.’
‘I want to tell the older two the truth,’ she says with a snap.
Rosie closes her eyes and hates Seb and what he’s done anew for putting her in this position. Because what, really, would her children do with the truth? She doesn’t even know if Heath knows what sex is yet. But they know what a liar is – how would it break them if they knew their daddy was one of the worst?
‘Wait,’ Rosie says, holding up her hand; she’s too angry to make such huge decisions. ‘I need more time.’
Seb nods.
They stand in silence before she asks, ‘What do you think would be best for them?’
Seb glances around the kitchen as though the answer might be hiding under the table or on top of the dresser. ‘I think we should buy time so you can figure out what you need.’
She wants to kick him, but instead her body sobs, ‘How?’
‘We confirm what they already know. That we’ve had an argument, but we’re trying to work it out.’
‘If we tell them that, they’ll panic, think we’re splitting up.’
Seb doesn’t say anything, and Rosie can’t bear to look at him, so she closes her eyes again as she says, ‘We’re going to do what we’ve always done.’
Seb widens his eyes, needs her to explain.
‘Pretend,’ she says, coldly.
Seb grimaces.
‘Don’t act like you don’t know how, Seb.’ He looks to his feet as she keeps instructing him. ‘We’ll pretend we’ve made up, that everything is normal, and we’ll put on a united front until we figure out how to tell them.’
‘How to tell them …’
‘That you’ve betrayed us all, that you’ve destroyed our marriage in the seediest way possible.’ She’s surprised the words come so easily. But isn’t this always the way? That the truest things are often astonishingly simple.
Seb lifts his hands to his temples to squeeze either side of his head. ‘It’s the worst feeling, knowing how much I’ve hurt all of you …’
‘Save it!’ she says, holding up her hand again. His mouth makes her feel physically sick. ‘You found her online, presumably?’
Seb looks at her, alarmed by this sudden change of topic. ‘Um, no, it was at that awards thing, with Eddy.’
Albie had been unwell, and Anna needed to stay with him so Seb had hired a tux and gone as Eddy’s plus-one.
‘One of Eddy’s bosses showed me her website,’ he mumbles, like this was all against his will, and Rosie wants to punch him right in his disgusting, lying, sucking mouth, imagines the crunch as his teeth loosen against her knuckles.
They both look up as Greer cries, ‘Mummmmmyyy,’ from the living room, already making her way down the hall towards the kitchen. ‘Heath just pinched me!’