It’s a relief she doesn’t mention exactly what it is that Seb’s done, but still, it’s written to incriminate him, written to show him in the worst possible light.
‘Anna, you can’t really think he’s not safe to do his job …’
‘If he worked in a factory or was an IT guy, then sure, whatever. I wouldn’t care. But he doesn’t, does he? He’s a teacher, our son’s head teacher. He should be a role model, lead by example. He has a responsibility to our children, to our whole community, to act with integrity with …’
Eddy holds up his hand and interrupts, ‘Yes, fine. I agree, I do, but when he’s not at work then surely he can do what he likes as long as it’s legal. Think about that presenter guy who was caught messaging younger men at work, Max …’
‘Max Harting.’
‘That’s it. Didn’t you say that you didn’t like what he was doing, didn’t agree with it, but that it wasn’t illegal so never mind?’
He sounds desperate, but it isn’t fair, he wasn’t prepared, and Anna has been up thinking about this all night. She enunciates her words carefully as she says, ‘What if Seb was a far-right lunatic in his spare time, had a swastika tattoo and posted awful stuff online – would you want to know about that?’
Eddy pulls a face. ‘Of course I would,’ he says gruffly.
‘Yeah, but all that’s legal, so …’ Anna makes her eyes wide, shrugs, like, ‘what’s the problem?’ She’s made her point. ‘Well, I’d want to know if he slept with prostitutes, and I think other women would agree with me.’
Eddy stares dumbly at the laptop screen, silent for a moment. He doesn’t want to get into an argument about gender. About why this prostitute thing is worse, more offensive – or so Anna seems to be suggesting – to women. He’ll certainly lose.
Eddy knew some of his colleagues, on work trips to faraway places, would sometimes pay. But Eddy had never considered it; the best part had always been the chase, the ‘will we, won’t we?’ Paying for it – he imagined – took all the magic, all the sexiness away. But he won’t mention any of this to Anna. He needs to keep his own name as far away from all this as possible.
‘What does this mean, then, for our family, for Blake?’
‘Well, I think if we can’t get rid of Seb then we’re going to have to find somewhere else for Blake, even if it’s further away. Brighton has some good places …’
‘Brighton’s half an hour away!’
‘We’ll make it work.’
‘Anna, all his friends are here, he’s happy at Waverly, we can’t just …’
‘Then for once in your life, Eddy, support me! The petition will get rid of him, everyone will sign it – trust me. We’ll get a new head and then we won’t have to move Blake.’
‘But Seb’s his godfather …’ Eddy replies meekly and Anna reaches for his hand, squeezes, like she’s full of regret about that choice they made fifteen years ago, too. He can’t say out loud what he’s really thinking, the feeling that crowds out almost everything else. The panic that he’ll lose Seb. His best friend and perhaps, he realizes now, the truth sinking within him, his only real friend. Anna will tell him he’s being selfish, thinking only about himself again, like always. So instead, Eddy asks, ‘And what about Abi and her girls, the repercussions for Rosie? It’s not just Seb who’ll be impacted by this.’
Anna just nods, sadly. ‘I know. I’m going to try and talk to Rosie today, let her know that we’ll be there for her …’
‘She can’t possibly think this is a good idea.’
Anna breathes out gently, tries to keep herself calm, reminding Eddy that she’s an expert in this particular kind of heartbreak. ‘Look, Ed, Rosie’s in the denial stage now. I remember it myself. She can’t think straight about anything, but when she’s processed some of her own feelings, I think she’ll understand where I’m coming from with the petition.’
‘And Abi? What about Abi?’ Eddy asks, clutching for the thing that will make Anna stop or at least pause, but he hasn’t found it yet because Anna replies, ‘I don’t name her; I don’t even mention exactly what he did.’
Eddy tries to ignore the strange slippery feeling in his stomach. He noticed the way Blake blushed and looked away when he mentioned Lily’s name the other day. Blake has a crush on Lily, which Anna doesn’t know about and which only serves to complicate everything even more.
‘Yes, but it will come out, won’t it? She’ll be implicated …’
‘Well,’ Anna sniffs, ‘excuse the pun, but she made her bed, didn’t she? I’m afraid I can’t protect everyone.’
He can’t help it. He has to say something about the cost to his own life.
‘And what about my thirty-year friendship?’
Anna breathes out; Eddy’s exasperating her now. ‘I don’t know, Ed. That’ll be up to you guys to figure out.’
Eddy’s head feels like an untethered balloon, bobbing around; he knows he should say something, but he can’t find any thoughts, just air where thoughts should be, so he pleads, ‘Can you just let me talk to him first, please, before posting this?’