With a start, Ernestine saw that every child in the room was staring fixedly at her with concern writ on their youthful faces. “I fear I have a bit of a headache today, Sarah, but thank you for asking. Horace, you did fine. That is how you spell myopic.”
Chapter 15
Chester Luce had talked it over with Adolphina and they had decided that all the pistol duels would take place in the street. Safer for Coffin Varnish’s citizens, however few there were. They had also decided the duels would take place one hour after the permits were paid for, to have ample time to notify everyone.
“If we do this right,” Adolphina had said, “if we take sufficient precautions, the killings will go off without a hitch. The leather slappers will be happy with how smoothly everything goes. We will be happy with the money we are making. All will be well.”
But all was decidedly
Chester was appalled when Paunch Stevens tried to jerk his six-shooter. “No, by God!” he bawled, and lunged at Stevens, grabbing his wrist.
“Not in here!” Win Curry yelled, whipping a shotgun from under the bar. “I will blow you in half!”
Sally Worth, incredibly enough, laughed.
Only Club Caine was calm and silent. He made no attempt to draw his Webley, although when Stevens went for his hardware, Caine swooped his hand to the Webley.
Paunch Stevens was furious. “Let go of me, damn you! You could have gotten me killed!”
“You, sir, are in violation of town ordinance,” Chester countered, even though, the truth be told, there was no town ordinance covering a situation like this. Chester was making it up as he went along.
“To say nothing of being a cheap bastard,” Sally Worth threw in.
Paunch fixed his glare on her. “How is that again?”
“You want to have it out with this other gent,” Sally said, “but you don’t want to pay for the permit and the burial. I call that cheap. So will most everyone else who hears about it.”
To Chester’s immense relief, her comment caused Paunch Stevens to deflate like a punctured water skin.
Stevens took his hand off the Smith & Wesson. “I suppose I was being a bit rash. But a hundred and fifty dollars seems outrageous.”
Chester released Stevens’s wrist but was ready to grab it again if need be. “Outrageous? For the privilege of killing a man? Where else in Kansas, where else
“That is true, but—” Paunch Stevens began.
Now that the scare was over, Chester was mad—good and mad. He poked Stevens in the chest. “No buts about it! If you think we are only in this for the money, you are wrong.” Actually, they were, but Chester had never been one to let the truth stand in the way of a good lie. “If that were the case, we would demand a lot more than a hundred dollars. For the service we are offering, a thousand would be more than fair.”
Sally Worth cackled. She had poured herself a drink and was nursing it at the end of the bar, her elbows under her. “If you charged that much, no one could afford it.”
“When I want comments from you I will ask for them.”
Sally arched an eyebrow. “Don’t take that high and mighty tone with me, mister.”
“Hush,” Chester said.
“Like hell I will!” Sally declared. “I know you, Chester. You and that wife of yours, lording it over the rest of us.”
Winifred said, “Sally, please.”
“Oh, you are no better than he is,” Sally snapped. “Why you went along with this harebrained notion, I will never know. Or is money all you care about, too?”
“That is unfair,” Win said, “and untrue. I have never been all that interested in being rich. Hell, if I was, do you think I’d have stayed in this godforsaken excuse for a town as long as I have?”
Sally had no answer for that.
“I stay because I like the pace of life,” Win said. “I like things slow and easy. I like not having to shave if I don’t want to, or having a boss breathe over my shoulder.”
Club Caine thumped the bar to get their attention. “I did not ride all this way to listen to you people bandy your petty problems about. Let’s get this over with. That is, if Mr. Stevens is still eager for this to be his last day on earth.”
Paunch Stevens bristled and started to reach for his revolver but stopped and snarled, “The sooner I can empty my pistol into you, the better I will feel.”
Apparently everything was striking Sally as hilarious because she laughed anew, then said, “Grown men acting like ten-year-olds. There are times I am mighty glad I am a woman, and this is one of them.”
“What are you on about?” Club Caine asked her.
“Men,” Sally said. “How silly they are. You don’t see grown women waving revolvers at each other, do you?”
“You are threepence short of a shilling yourself,” Club Caine said.
Sally tilted her head. “What did you just say?”
