On December 8, 1983, my dream of spaceflight, not to mention the entire shuttle program, almost ended when STS-9 landed on fire. During the final moments ofColumbia ’s approach, one of its hydraulic pumps experienced a propellant leak that dumped hydrazine, a particularly wicked fuel, into the aft engine compartment. The resulting fire quickly spread to a second hydraulic system and both systems failed shortly after touchdown. Had the fire started a moment earlier, it probably would have caused all three hydraulic systems to fail whileColumbia was still airborne. Like a car losing power steering, the controls would have frozen.Columbia would have rolled out of control and crashed into the desert. John Young and his crew missed death by a handful of seconds. As I later examined photos of the fire damage, I thought of John’s earlier pronouncement, “God watches out for babies, drunks, and astronauts.”

The failure mode that caused the hydrazine leak was quickly identified and corrected. The shuttle program rolled on and my spirits soared…and then, just as quickly, came crashing back to Earth. On the very next mission, STS-41B, both of its deployed satellites failed to reach their intended orbit due to booster rocket malfunctions. I was thrown back into hell. We had the identical booster rocket attached to one of our two communication satellites. It was unlikely NASA would launchDiscovery with only a single satellite as freight. For weeks we fretted and sweated while NASA HQ shuffled payloads and, for a second time, we survived withDiscovery. One mission to go.

We were now practically living in the simulators—one session was fifty-six hours in duration. Hank and Mike were spending most of their time practicing launch aborts and landings. Steve, Judy, and I were consumed with payload training. There was also spacewalk training. None was planned for our mission but every shuttle crew included two astronauts who were prepared for an emergency spacewalk. This was to provide one more line of defense against things that could kill a crew, like not being able to close the Payload Bay Doors (PLBD). To attempt reentry with those open would be certain death. This was why every component associated with the door closing and locking systems was redundant. Redundant motors were powered by redundant electrical systems through a myriad of redundant black boxes and redundant wiring. One failure of anything would not prevent an astronaut crew from closing and locking the doors. But that wasn’t good enough for NASA. They wanted to back up even this redundancy with astronaut spacewalkers who could manually string a lanyard to a door edge and winch it closed, then hand-install and manually tighten locks. Other contingencies also had to be considered. The shuttle’s high-gain antenna and the robot arm were both mechanisms that could become stuck outside the PLBD envelope and interfere with door closure. The two-man contingency spacewalkers were trained to muscle these devices inside the bay and tie them down. Hank designated Hawley and me as the EVA (spacewalk) crewmembers and Judy as our Intra-Vehicular Activity (IVA) crewmember. It would be her job to help us dress in the 300-pound Extra-vehicular Mobility Unit (EMU), i.e., a spacesuit, assist us in the suit checkout, and follow us in the EVA checklists to ensure we didn’t make a mistake. A spacewalking crewmember entered a whole new arena of risks. When pressurized, the suits became as hard as a steel-belted radial, severely impairing movement and tactile feel. In this condition a mistake was possible, perhaps a deadly one. If Hawley and I had to do a spacewalk, Judy would be our omnipresent guardian angel, watching us from insideDiscovery and making certain we followed every procedure exactly.

The primary facility for practicing spacewalks was the WETF swimming pool. Few experiences in life are more claustrophobic than being lowered underwater while dressed in an EMU. One astronaut confided in me that he repeatedly exhibited excessively high blood pressure when the flight surgeons conducted their pre-WETF vital sign checks. In fact, the docs became so suspicious, they required him to do multiple blood pressure checks at the flight clinic to ensure it wasn’t a more chronic problem. I never had a problem with these checks. I could always put myself in a happy place while the cuff was on. After it was off, my veins got an elastic workout.

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