Up ahead, someone in a long blue wool coat was leaning on the rails, dropping bread to the big birds. If he had any, Dellian decided, he would have thrown it to the black swans first in sympathy. Then he realized it was actually Alexandre who was feeding the swans, and back in their hangar the cohort reacted with happiness. He knew it wasn’t coincidence.
Since he’d moved to Eastmal, Dellian hadn’t seen much of their former mentor. It wasn’t deliberate; they’d all been so busy in preparation for their starflight. And partying, he admitted guiltily; that was a really good part of city life.
“You’re looking very fine,” Alexandre said as they hugged in greeting.
Dellian kept his welcoming smile in place as hir gray eyes gave him a level appraisal. Inside, he was mildly shaken by his mentor’s appearance. Sie was male cycled, as sie had been for the last seven years now. It was an usually long time to remain as one gender and an uneasy indicator of age. Not only did gender cycles last longer as people grew older, the transition phase was also extended. It wasn’t detrimental, simply a sign of an older body slowing down.
Alexandre had been there for him his whole life, and Dellian didn’t like to acknowledge sie was getting older. But now he looked closely, hir dark-blond hair was thinner now and becoming lighter from the rise of gray strands. It wasn’t something he wanted to consider, that one day Alexandre wouldn’t be there to turn to. Death was something he’d only encountered on rare occasions, except poor Uma and Doony that one wretched morning…
“You too,” he replied.
Alexandre’s grin widened affectionately. “You were always a rotten liar. That’s why you were always in detention.”
“No more than anyone else!”
“I know. Your whole year—it’s a miracle any of us came out of the estate alive.”
“But here we are.”
“Aye, here we are. So how’s the graduation exercise going?”
“Pretty good. They’ve missed some caches that’ll be useful, but I just gave them a scare that should send them back to reevaluate everything. If not, Xante and I are due back later. That should kick them into gear.”
“Ah, the pterodactyls. I remember the arguments we had about introducing those. Some felt it was taking things a step too far.”
“They’re magnificent.”
“Yes, you would think that.” Alexandre’s hand squeezed his shoulder fondly.
“This yeargroup seems a little more cautious than we were, or more controlled, maybe. Changing the training routines has helped.”
“Somehow, I don’t think they’ll ever be a match for your year.”
“You made us.”
“Aye, that we did.”
“It’s funny to think there’s only three more yeargroups left, then it’s over. All of us will be real soldiers, and the fight begins.”
“The search begins,” sie corrected gently. “Who knows? You may never see the final conflict. It might even have happened already.”
“No. We’ll see action. I know it. I will meet the Five Saints, and I don’t want to let them down.”
“Ah, the optimism of youth. So how is Xante?”
“Fine, thanks.”
“Have the two of you moved in together?”
“Not quite. It’s good the way it is. We enjoy each other, we’re very similar in some ways, and the differences can be fun, too. We’re happy.”
“If it’s not broke, don’t try and fix it?”
“Something like that.” Dellian gave up. “How is she?”
“Doing rather well, actually. She’s smart enough to know she needs to understand herself. It’s an arduous process. She can be quite stubborn, but her progress is exceptional. I never expected anything else.”
“So she’s getting better?”
“Yirella was never ill, Dellian. Just different from what we expected.”
“Different? She killed Uma and Doony!” Some nights he still woke in a sweat thinking about it. To do that to your own muncs…
“She liberated herself,” Alexandre said. “The only way she could. Our arrogance gave her no choice. What we did, the life we gave her, the training and environment of the clan, was simply wrong for her. We are at fault, not her, and we didn’t recognize that until too late. Now we have to give her the space and ability to become what she wants to be.”
“And what’s that?”
“I don’t know. I’d settle for her being happy.”
“Isn’t she?”
“I believe she’s in a position where that might be possible now. There was so much she had to unlearn, so much to be forgiven. But there are aspects of her life she is comfortable with now.”
It was almost too painful to ask, but he couldn’t not— “Does she…”
“Ask about you?”
He nodded silently.
“Of course she does. You meant a lot to her.”
“Not yet. But soon, I hope. She still hasn’t quite separated you from what we were molding you and your yearmates into. I don’t want to introduce the possibility of further conflict until I’m sure she can distinguish between what you are and what you will achieve up there among the stars.” Hir head tipped back, and sie stared calmly into the clear, cool sky. “You are a strong resonance in her life, Dellian. Perhaps the strongest.”
“I want to help.”