She was trying to pull the attention away from my brother and Gina.
“Confucius says, women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place,” Tim interjected.
“I think you’re all a bunch of amateurs. David, tell us the right way to kiss a woman,” Tracy said.
Brook squeezed my arm.
“Yes, tell them,” Brook encouraged.
Fine. I thought about it for a moment and did my best deep, sexy voice.
“Let’s set the stage. You’ve brought her home from a first date and decided that it wasn’t a complete waste of time.”
“Focus,” Cassidy warned.
“Back her up against the door. Use your knees to spread her thighs; grab her hands and hold them above her head with one hand. With the other, gently brush the hair out of her face.”
“Oh, my,” Gina almost moaned.
You could hear everyone breathe in anticipation of my next words.
“Lift her chin so she looks you in the eyes. Wait to see if she rejects your advances. If your eyes lock, let your eyes communicate your desire to ravish her right there on the front porch. Lean in close and wait for her eyes to close. When they do, brush her lips with yours. Let your tongue find hers. Never stop kissing her as your tongues begin to dance together. When the porch light comes on and her dad jerks the door open, beat a hasty retreat to your car,” I concluded.
“I need to write that down,” Tim said.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it. I’ll email it to everyone,” Dare said.
I about fell out of my chair. Our little introvert was coming out of his shell.
◊◊◊
I’d gone home after school. Brook had enlisted Cassidy to help the cheerleaders prepare something for the game.
I was nervous about today’s game. Mt. Vernon was better than I first thought. This would be the game that would determine the conference champion.
I took Duke into the backyard to play ball. He danced around me, eager to give chase. As we played, I began to relax and forget my worries. Watching my hound’s boundless energy and pure joy at our game put a smile on my face. I think he would run until he dropped, so I had to keep an eye on him for signs of fatigue. I put a stop to it when I saw Duke’s tongue hanging out of the side of his lopsided grin as he dropped the ball at my feet.
“Come on. Let’s get you a drink,” I said, leading him to the back door.
While Duke drank the last of his water, I found some pizza rolls in the freezer to make a quick snack. I’d just put them in the microwave when I heard the front gate buzzer. I looked out and saw it was Jeff Delahey with his camera crew, so I buzzed them in and met them at the front door.
It was almost too much when I opened the door, and Jeff’s camerawoman was taping. I wasn’t able to keep a straight face when Duke greeted her with his wet mouth from getting his drink. If I didn’t know better, I would have been as grossed out as she was, thinking it was doggy slobber.
“Hey,” she complained.
“That’s my guard dog, Duke,” I said by way of introduction.
Duke seemed to really like her as he stuck his nose where he wasn’t supposed to. At that point, I figured I’d better save her.
“Duke, park it,” I commanded and pointed to the kitchen.
He gave me a look but decided to mind for a change.
I heard the timer go off, and Jeff and his crew followed me into the kitchen where I pulled my pizza rolls out of the microwave.
“That doesn’t look very healthy,” Jeff said, falling into parental mode.
“I have these maybe once a month. Given my usual diet, I think I’ll be okay,” I said and sat down and began to eat.
I realized I was a terrible host. But Jeff would eat before the game at the dinner put on by our boosters in the new food building under the end-zone bleachers.
“Is this what you normally do before a game?”
“Sometimes. I try to relax and get my mind off the game for a little while. If I don’t, I get too amped up and tighten up,” I explained.
I heard the back door open, and Peggy came in holding the boys.
“Please don’t film the boys,” I said to the camerawoman. “My security wants to keep them from being filmed for their own safety. If you want to film me, that’s fine.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Jeff assured me.
“When Coby was born, Adrienne organized a photo shoot so we could get it over with. Since then, we’ve tried to keep them out of the press.”
Peggy took the boys upstairs.
“I thought you only had one son,” Jeff said.
“Little David, as we call him, is Peggy’s. She takes care of Coby, and they’ve become a part of the family. I also think of Little David as my son.”
There was a lull in the conversation, which you would never expect with a reporter in the room.
“What did you want, anyway?” I asked.
“We wanted to get some footage of you at home before a game. I’d like to film you driving to school and then follow you through your complete pregame ritual.”
