“When someone is brought up in that kind of environment, they don’t even realize there’s any other way to live. That’s especially so if they’re immersed in it. The situation also makes them dependent on whoever’s in the driver’s seat, like her dad, or whoever’s supporting it, like her mom. All of their needs for human interaction and intimacy are of necessity met by their dad and mom, in this case. In a very real way, the rigidity and the dependency become comfortable to them. The structure serves as their source of security.
“But at the same time, such rigidity and dependency can be stifling. The person can feel like they don’t have any identity of their own. That affects them if they suddenly are thrust into an environment where they realize there are other ways relationships can be. They discover that there are new and different experiences to be explored, and they’re like a kid in a candy store where the shopkeeper’s left them completely unsupervised.
“They want desperately to spread their wings and try new things, but they’re also scared to do so because of their rigid upbringing.
“It’s like the jokes about preacher’s kids. They always seem to go a little wild.
“I expect Scarlet probably went a little crazy experimenting within a few months after she first got to college, but at the same time, it might have freaked her out. Eventually, she found a solution in the form of someone who was at least a little kinky and adventurous, and who was willing to help her in a caring way. From what you told me, that’s probably Ashley. Was Ashley the one who set up your playdate?” Uncle John asked.
“Yes, she did. Scarlet had gone out with one of the other guys I was at camp with the night before and scared him with whatever she suggested they do together,” I explained.
“You found her tied up?”
“Yes. It was intentional,” I said.
“How so?”
“The best way to describe it was they were in costume. The way Scarlet had been tied up and how her clothes were arranged told me it all had been planned out,” I explained.
“I’m going to venture off into conjecture now, so don’t take this as gospel until I’ve had a chance to talk to her. I do think I might be more right than wrong, though,” Uncle John said, and waited for me to nod back my understanding.
“Scarlet probably enjoys the role-playing side of it. Ashley helps her try things she actually wants to experiment with but is too afraid or inhibited to attempt on her own. She may not know it, but something else Ashley helped with is she allowed Scarlet to spread her wings intellectually and develop her own personality. And Scarlet is quite intelligent, from what I’ve heard. If Scarlet is in the right environment, she can become a force to be reckoned with. She’s already shown that with her comments on how to handle Lucas’ hacking tools.
“Now, there are a few possible developments to watch out for. First, in Scarlet’s desire for experimentation isn’t going to go away simply because she’s physically moved far away from her parents and the university. In fact, once she’s alone for a bit, it may surface even more strongly. Scarlet will subconsciously be on the prowl for someone to ‘play’ with. But, if she were to hook up with the wrong person, it might be disastrous for everyone involved.
“Second, we have no way of knowing whether the relationship between Scarlet and Ashley is going to continue as it is or change. Ashley may not be comfortable in continuing to help her, for example. If she isn’t, eventually she might come to resent any dependency Scarlet shows on her. On the other side of the coin, Scarlet may ultimately resent the fact that Ashley, as the person who was supposed to watch out for her, ‘let’ her get pregnant.” Uncle John paused for a moment and let that sink in.
It sounded like the two friends might be at odds if we didn’t handle this correctly.
“So, here are a few suggestions. First, Scarlet needs a support structure around her.” He pointed at me. “You may provide some of that, but it’s the women here who will provide most of it, and they won’t have to do much to provide it.”
That sounded good to me.
“Working with Caryn, your mom, and the other women in your business and home life will provide a lot of that. A few of them will need to be aware of what to look for to ensure Scarlet doesn’t step outside of the family if she starts to crave more experimentation. Your mom and Caryn come to mind.
“Second, I suggest it would be a good idea for Scarlet, and Ashley if she moves here, to have some counseling sessions with me.
“And third, Scarlet should be encouraged to continue to grow and mature in an intellectual, business, and professional sense.” At this, he smiled. “As I said, you’ve already benefitted from that.”
Uncle John had admitted he could be wrong about this. I guess we would wait to see what he learned when he talked to her.
Mom cleared her throat, saving me from more introspection.
“Thanks for your insight. It explains some things about Scarlet that had been puzzling me,” Mom said.
