“Now,” Fritz said, and he hurried us away from our gate and into the men’s room where he put us into the handicapped stall together.
“Don’t come out until I get back,” he ordered.
Dad and I waited and tried to make small talk as the minutes ticked by. I became a little anxious when they called our flight for boarding. Finally, Fritz came back to get us. We noticed that the police had the girl off to the side, talking to her as we got onto the plane. We were seated in first class, and I’d scored an aisle seat. Fritz sat across from me on the aisle with Dad next to him in the window seat. I was happy to see that the seat next to me was empty. With me being six-four, flying could be a pain due to the lack of legroom.
It seemed to take forever for everyone to get settled, as the flight was packed. When we were ready to go, the last passenger got on. I looked up when the girl who had been talking to the police boarded and came down the aisle. Oh, great; she had a ticket for the seat next to mine. When the foreign girl took her seat, she collapsed into it and stared out the window. I was glad I hadn’t gotten stuck with either a kid or someone chatty.
We took off and were pushed back into our seats as we gained altitude. Then the girl sat straight up and grabbed my hand with a scared expression on her face. Our eyes locked, and her countenance changed from frightened to something weird. Either I was about to die, or she was. Then her head spun around as she projectile vomited.
I might have exaggerated about the head-spin part. The only positive was that the girl directed her spray towards the window. The smell alone almost caused me to lose my breakfast. I’m a sympathetic puker on the best of days. I surprised myself when I was able to swallow it back. Having a bunch of little ones may have toughened me up.
My first thought was that I no longer wanted to be seated next to her. I undid my seatbelt and stepped into the aisle.
“Sir, you must remain seated when the seatbelt light is on,” one of the flight attendants told me.
“I’ll trade with you,” I suggested.
She was in one of those flip-down seats by the cabin door.
The woman behind terrorist girl—I’d officially decided that puke was as bad as a bomb—freaked out.
“It’s running back here! Oh My God! It’s on my shoes!” she said and then puked.
Her seatmate, an elderly businessman, joined her. I’d read a Steven King book called
The flight attendant figured out what was wrong and didn’t order me back to my seat. Instead, she allowed me to take hers while she and other flight attendants dealt with the mess. They should have gotten hazard pay for dealing with that. Somehow, the girl who’d started it all was sent to stand by me while they cleaned up our row. She swayed, and I caught her before I had a chance to give up my seat for her. Now I had a semiconscious terrorist sitting in my lap. My next fear was that she was contagious.
I asked a flight attendant for some help. Her solution was to get the girl a blanket. Then she handed me one of those little barf bags in case the girl needed to go another round, which of course, she did. I was ready to open the door and either get out and walk or toss her out.
The flight attendants did yeoman’s work to get everything cleaned up. Unfortunately, they had no way to get rid of the smell, and we were only thirty minutes into a four-and-a-half-hour flight. I helped the girl to her seat and got her a bottle of water.
She looked at me sheepishly.
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Tell me something: you don’t have the plague or some such, do you? I can’t get sick right now.”
“No. It’s withdrawal from drugs. My mother passed away, and I promised myself I would be off them when I attended her funeral. Guess I should have waited until I got there to stop taking.”
I started to laugh, which caught everyone’s attention.
“It’s not funny. I feel like shit,” the girl complained.
“What were you taking?” I asked.
“Prescription painkillers. A friend of mine said it would take 24 to 48 hours to get over the worst of it. I thought I was fine today and decided to fly home. It probably wasn’t such a good idea to have eaten anything before the flight, but I was starved,” she said and closed her eyes for a moment.
I had my seatbelt off in a flash, ready to make a hasty retreat. She opened her eyes and gave me a wan smile. The girl looked wiped out. Then a look of determination suddenly appeared on her face. She reached over, grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and then fell asleep. I was happy she slept for the rest of the flight.
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