“Hang on. I want to record your epic fail. It’s not every day that a girl turns down David,” Tracy said and ran back to the car to get her phone.
Once Tracy came back, I made my way to where the girl was sleeping. When I got close, I realized she was probably in her mid-20s. Her dress had ridden up, and I could see a glimpse of her frilly panties. Her high heels were lying next to her. The girl was sort of cute, in a total mess kind of way. She had sand in her hair, and, I was sure, in other places she didn’t want it.
I got down on one knee next to her head to check whether she really was okay. She seemed to be sleeping. That was when inspiration struck. Sleeping Beauty was awakened with a kiss, so why not kiss her? I leaned down and did just that. To my surprise, it worked.
My Sleeping Beauty blinked a couple of times, then raised her arm to block the sun from her eyes and moaned. It was clear she was hungover. She squinted at me.
“Do I know you?” she asked.
I just stared at her in my best imitation of a creepy stalker. I must have nailed it because she sat up and looked nervous. Since I was on a roll, I decided to raise the creep factor.
“You’re purty,” I said with a backwoods flair, like you’d expect if you were about to be abducted by a pack of hillbillies.
The poor girl just stared back at me. She looked like a deer standing frozen in the middle of the road, caught in the headlights of a Mack truck that was bearing down on it. I could see she was contemplating whether she should run or try to kick my butt. I stared right back as the moment became decidedly awkward.
“Get the hell away from me,” she blurted.
I held up my hands and stood up. I slowly backed up, and then she saw my friends all with big smiles on their faces and Tracy with her phone out, recording our encounter. The girl closed her eyes and shook her head.
“Damn, I’ve been punked,” she said.
“You okay to get home?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m good, and I’ve learned my lesson about drinking too much. If you do, you become a cautionary meme on social media. I must look a mess.”
Her hair reminded me of some infamous celebrity mug shots. Specifically, Nick Nolte’s, Mel Gibson’s, and Lindsay Lohan’s, in a mash-up way. I made sure she got in her car and drove home. We next drove to my go-to diner and ate breakfast. I decided that morning sex, surfing, hanging out with friends, making crazy bets, and eating greasy food was how every day should start.
◊◊◊
Wolf was a much better sport than I would’ve been. He let Cassidy put bright red lipstick and green eyeshadow on him. The funny part was that he didn’t look like that big a freak when you considered we were in LA. Tim took a quick picture and shared it, and I was impressed that Wolf’s mom was on the phone to him so quickly. It was a little creepy that our mothers all followed us on social media.
“No, Mom, I’m not secretly gay,” Wolf whined.
Tim and I had huge smiles on our faces when we heard that. I now fully appreciated why my mom loved to have dirt on us. This was something that could be used for years to come and still be funny. When he got off the phone, he looked at both of us sternly.
“You’ve had your fun. Can I go wash my face now?” Wolf asked.
“I don’t know. Tracy posted the video of me to the world,” I said.
“It has started to trend. Are you sure Lily really works
“I didn’t sexually harass her,” I complained, and then got us back on track. “What do you think goes with Wolf’s makeup? Jeans and a t-shirt probably don’t cut it. We might have to stop and get him a cute sundress. Something that shows a lot of cleavage.”
I must have been out of practice because Wolf caught me and tossed me into the pool. Tim either felt sorry for him or didn’t want to suffer the same fate because he let Wolf go remove his makeup.
◊◊◊
Lexi had planned for us to go to Olvera Street for the day. She knew that we couldn’t do things that were too costly every day. The yacht had been something that was a special treat, even if it didn’t cost me anything. Well, the helicopter ride did, but it wasn’t over-the-top expensive. For the most part, we were all high school kids on a budget. I’d had Manaia pick up a short bus so we all could go together. Brook and I hurried so we could claim the back seat.
Once we were on our way, Lexi stood up and acted like a tour guide.
“Olvera Street is considered ‘Old Los Angeles.’ They have a street market where many of the owners are descendants of the original owners from the 1940s. The market was created back then to preserve the customs and flavors of historic California.
“We used to go when I was a kid, and I loved the Aztec dancers. They also have traditional Mexican dancers and a strolling mariachi band. And the food is to die for,” Lexi concluded.
