“Well, then, I guess I’m sorry for the confusion. Just so you know, the charities do good work. But if someone were to make a donation and have a change of heart, we would make sure to return their money,” I offered for the last time.
“Okay, then. I want to wish you luck at Michigan. If you ever have a change of heart, let me know,” he said, using my own words against me.
With that, he disconnected.
I made sure the recording was made and then forwarded it to my lawyers and my dad. They could decide what to do with it. I was done providing information to the FBI and NCAA, but my legal team could make that call. That was what I paid them for.
◊◊◊
After lunch, I took my uncle aside. I wanted to get his take on my sex life over the last few months. I told him about Brook wanting me to dominate other girls while she watched; Chloe Larkin being drunk and then going crazy; and finally, sleeping with Ben Doman’s girlfriend. To get him up to speed, I shared Tami’s concerns and what Cindy had told me.
When I finished, he pulled a Dawson and became quiet. I’m not sure if he expected me to continue to spill my guts or if he was stunned. All I knew was I wasn’t going to play his game and be the first to talk.
“What are your fears?” he finally asked.
“I don’t know. I was hoping you would have some ideas.”
He took a deep breath.
“First, I have a couple of concerns. We talked about how what you do now can hurt you later. The kinkier stuff, like tying up a girl, is okay if the thought process is appropriately introduced and limited. However, there’s nothing to stop someone with a victim mentality from later deciding the activities were nonconsensual. Nor would it stop victims’ rights advocates from taking sides and demonizing the alleged consent-violator. I’m not even talking about morning-after regrets. I’m talking next month, next year, or the next three- or four-decades-later regrets.
“You probably think you trust all the girls involved right now. Believe me when I tell you that memories and perspectives can change over time. You’re smart enough to know that. My concern is that for some people, what you described could be twisted and weaponized to take you down at some point.
“Why do you think I never wanted to put my hat in the ring as far as politics go?” he asked, bringing me up short.
“Why, what happened?” I asked.
“When I was in college, I did much more than you have just described. I found a group of like-minded people and figured that it was college, and I was allowed to experiment. Someone got the bright idea to film a few of the activities. Even though I trusted the people involved at the time, I have no idea if one of them might come after me. For example, if my views don’t line up with theirs, politically,” Uncle John explained.
“I can see what you’re talking about,” I said in agreement.
“Let me give you some advice. If you ever decide you want to get into bondage, you need to come out of this realizing that you, and your wants, need to be in charge. That’s the case whenever these situations come up. I wouldn’t dismiss it out of hand because who knows what the future holds? What I would do is be honest with yourself and evaluate each situation. Where do they fall in your circle of trust? Are you comfortable with what’s being asked of you? I think you get the idea,” he said.
“No, I get it. I don’t want to have a few too many and end up with someone accusing me of anything. The last thing I want is to hurt someone,” I admitted.
“Is that why you’re worried about the submissives that Cindy told you about?”
“That’s a major concern for me. I’m afraid someone like that might permit me to go too far, and it’s because they didn’t feel they could say ‘no.’”
“What you described before you spent time with the two girls last Friday is probably a good idea. Put it out there that they have the power to stop at any time.
“Secondly, I think you’re overthinking this. You’re not a predator,” Uncle John said emphatically.
“Maybe you should clarify that for me,” I said with a half-smile.
“When I was training to be a child psychologist, I learned about people who prey on children. They use a process called grooming. What they do happens in stages. They target their victim, then they build trust; fill a need or find something missing in the child’s life and provide it; build a ‘special’ relationship; introduce sex; and finally, reinforce the relationship.
“I realize that all those steps could apply to dating, but the difference is the intent. I can’t imagine you actively using your unique knowledge to get into someone’s pants. That’s just not you,” he said.
I would be willing to bet that books were written about each stage, and he’d just condensed it down for me.
“It is a fairly good outline for getting and keeping a girlfriend. All except for thinking of them as your victim,” I qualified.
