After Cassidy and Ms. Marshall finished torturing me, and I’d gotten some batting practice in, Cassidy and I met with JD Ma. JD had me show her how I was doing using the different ways to open a lock without the key. After that, I showed her my ‘walk’ for the movie.
“Interesting take,” was her only comment, and then she moved on to today’s lesson, breaking into cars.
She took us out to the parking lot and pointed at an older Pontiac Sunbird.
“Notice the trim between the front and back window on that one. I can be in that car in under a minute,” JD boasted.
“Prove it,” I said.
She looked around and then walked up to the car, got her fingernails under the edge of the trim, and pulled. It took her only a few seconds to pop the window trim off, and she set it on the ground. JD pointed to the rubber seal around the edge of the window.
“You work this loose, and the window will come out,” she said, and then demonstrated.
I was horrified that it could be so easy. I looked over at Cassidy, and she was totally intent on what JD was teaching us.
We spotted someone entering the lot, which triggered JD to quickly reverse the process.
“One hard and fast rule: don’t get caught.”
“Shit,” was my brilliant comment when I realized we could get into serious trouble doing this.
Neither Cassidy nor JD appeared fazed by the danger.
Over the next half-hour, she demonstrated how to use a slim-jim tool, a piece of string, a plunger, and even a tennis ball to pop the door lock. Then she showed us a new toy.
“Can the pen be mightier than the sword? It just might if it’s a tactical pen,” JD said.
The pen she had was made of a sturdy-looking metal, and the top was pointed. The sides had been textured to give you a better grip, and the ballpoint was fully functional.
“In the movie, Q will give you one of these as a gadget,” JD explained. “The top can be used to break glass. If you need to break into a car and don’t care about noise, I would use this.”
“Can we try it?” Cassidy asked.
Both JD and I looked at her like she’d lost her mind.
“I promise we won’t get caught.”
“Your dad would kill me if we get arrested breaking into cars. Plus, this does real damage,” I reminded her.
“We could do your car,” she suggested.
“No. You’re not breaking my car window just to try out a new toy.”
“Much like in the Bond movie, a tactical pen conceals itself in plain sight. No one will know as you sign papers that it’s also an extremely versatile tactical tool. Still, it isn’t your primary weapon. It’s simply handy for close encounters. Please remember that a regular pen doesn’t serve the same function. They’re too flimsy to be effective,” JD warned us.
“You can use this to fight with?” I asked.
“Yep. I’ll show you how another time. Today, I want to keep the focus on stealing cars,” JD said.
“Good idea. You might have to get a couple more pens for our training, though,” I said as I pointed to Cassidy slipping it into her pocket.
JD held out her hand, and Cassidy gave her a sheepish look as she handed it back.
“I can get them in different colors: red, blue, black, and silver.”
“Get us both one of each,” I said to make Cassidy’s day.
“Now that I’ve shown you several techniques for breaking into a car, let’s talk about getting it started. The days of hot-wiring a car are over. Nowadays, you have to bypass the electronics.
“Every new car sold in the past decade has been required to have a standard diagnostic port fitted. This is typically located in the front footwell. They’ve developed devices that plug into the port, boot up a vehicle’s software, and program a blank key fob.
“In keyless cars, this can be used to start the engine as well as unlock the doors. The time needed for the programming process is as short as 15 seconds,” JD explained.
Cassidy and I had our eyes opened over the next forty-five minutes as JD gave us a crash course on how to start a car without a key. It was frighteningly easy, and there were multiple ways to do it. Those ways included everything from using an app on your cell phone, to using the diagnostic port, to capturing the needed radio signals when someone locked their car doors. If a thief knew what they were doing, they could take your car in a surprisingly short time.
◊◊◊
I came home to find Tracy, Lexi, and Scarlet in our kitchen eating ice cream with—wait for it—Cookie Butter.
“You’ve been holding out on me,” Scarlet complained.
“After he introduced me to this, I bought my dad a case of the stuff for Christmas,” Lexi said.
While they talked about the yummy goodness, I made myself a bowl.
“The Michigan fan sites are showing their love. Some are predicting multiple Big Ten championships and National Championships, now that you’re in the fold,” Lexi said.
“I can’t believe that it’s finally over,” Tracy admitted.
“Tracy has been with me dealing with this craziness from the beginning,” I told Lexi and Scarlet.
“I only had to deal with it for the last few months. You need to do something nice for Megan since she handled all the mail,” Scarlet said.
