“Yeah, but she said that was because she’d been on set constantly for several days, taken some pills, and went a little nutty,” Lexi said.
“I bet she was really convincing,” I said to let her off the hook.
“She was.”
“She’s an outstanding actress,” I reminded Lexi.
“Shit!”
“Look at it this way: your first client will break you in quickly.”
“It’s not that. I, uh, well, sort of invited Chloe to come see you tonight,” Lexi said.
“Hold that thought,” I said as I got my phone out and hit a button.
Lexi’s phone chirped, and she looked down to see that I’d hit the panic button.
At my insistence, Lexi explained to me how Chloe had worked in that she and I were terrific friends and how I would love to see her again. In the meantime, Fritz called and confirmed that I wasn’t in immediate danger since Chloe wasn’t here yet.
We both jumped when the entrance buzzer to Lexi’s building rang. When Lexi confirmed that Chloe was indeed downstairs, I called 911. Their response time impressed me when a short while later a squad car pulled into the lot with flashing lights. I admit that both Lexi and I watched as the two police officers got out of the car to talk to Chloe.
I just shook my head as she talked her way out of it. Soon she had the two young guys laughing at something she said.
That was when she struck. She held a Taser in each hand. I cringed when she hit both guys in the nut sack and juiced them. That would leave a mark. I hoped they were both done having sex for the rest of their lives. If someone had lit the twins up like that, and I flopped on the ground like a carp out of water, Mr. Happy would revolt and never get stiff again.
We watched as Chloe stepped out into the parking lot and looked up until she spotted us looking out the window. I gave her a little wave and opened the window slightly.
“David. You’ve been a bad boy, calling the police on me. If I didn’t know you were playing hard to get, I might have the wrong idea about your feelings for me. Why don’t you come down so we can straighten this out?”
I opened the window a bit more.
“I just saw you tase those two. If you did me like that, how would you ever get me into your car so you can kidnap me?” I asked.
In retrospect, I was being way too helpful in planning my own demise.
“Good point. Why don’t you come down and we talk in my car?” Chloe asked.
“Is she insane?” Lexi whispered.
“It might be easier if I came down and just hopped into your trunk,” I suggested.
“That would be very helpful,” Chloe said brightly.
“Okay, hang on, and I’ll be right down,” I said.
This time, the boys in blue weren’t messing around. Three cars screamed into the lot. Chloe, to her credit, took off running. I cringed again when the first officer to get close to her got nut-shot with the Taser. It was eerily similar to Cassidy shooting me in the jewels with a paintball gun. How did girls know that getting tased in the nuts would make guys flinch? I’m sure the blood-curdling scream from the flopping man in blue also helped to sell it.
The next policeman tackled Chloe, and he cuffed her in short order.
At that point, she went totally berserk. They had to cuff Chloe’s legs together and then cuff them to her hands when she tried to kick out the police car’s window to escape. I predicted that she would be in a psych ward before the night was over.
Word must have gotten out that Chloe and I were involved in something. Somehow, the number of paparazzi had grown substantially. Our contingent grew from the handful who had followed Lexi and me to her place to ten times that number in the space of a half-hour.
My day got even worse when Lexi confessed that the real reason she’d invited me over was to try out her new piercing. I really wanted her to try it out on me, too. That wasn’t happening now because Fritz insisted that I come home to Rita’s place after the police got our statements.
◊◊◊
Chapter 23 – And The Oscar Goes To … Saturday February 25
When I stepped out to run this morning, Manaia was waiting for me in a golf cart. I was glad to see him. We’d gotten off to a bit of a rocky start when we first met this last winter. That was when I had come to LA to shoot my most recent J-drama. Towards the end, we had become friends.
“We have some press waiting down the block,” he informed me, falling right back into his role as my security.
“Why down the block?”
“The neighbors have some pull with the police,” Manaia said and shrugged.
I’d turned on the morning news while I got dressed, and our little drama was front and center. Someone in the police department had released the dash-cam video of Chloe tasing the three officers. The more I saw her tase them in the nuts, the funnier it became. I mean, seriously, you could go to any social media site and find a whole library of videos of guys getting hit in the balls. Using a Taser raised the cringe factor.
