More recently, several researchers have demonstrated that a man’s sperm production increases significantly when he has not seen his partner for a few days, regardless of whether or not he ejaculated during her absence. This finding conforms to the notion that sperm competition has played a role in human evolution and may even reflect an adaptation to monogamy. In this scenario, not knowing what his strumpet of a wife was up to at that damned conference in Orlando leads a man’s body to hyper-produce sperm to increase his chances of fertilizing her ovum when she gets home, even if his worst fears (and possibly, hottest fantasies) are true. Along these same lines, women have also reported that their partners tend to be more vigorous in bed—reporting deeper, more vigorous thrusting—after a separation or if infidelity is suspected.9 (The possibility that the men may actually be
The scandalous implications of sperm competition run smack
into the long-held view of sacrosanct female sexuality. It’s a
vision Darwin cultivated in public consciousness, featuring
coy females who surrender only to a carefully chosen mate
who has proven himself worthy—and even then, she’s only
doing it for England. “The sexually insatiable woman,”
declared a terrified Donald Symons, “is to be found primarily,
if not exclusively, in the ideology of feminism, the hopes of
boys, and the fears of men.”10 Perhaps, but Marvin Harris
offers a different take, writing, “Like all dominant groups,
men seek to promote an image of their subordinate’s nature
that contributes to the preservation of the status quo. For
thousands of years, males have seen women not as women
11
could be, but only as males want them to be.”
Despite all the controversy, there is no question as to whether sperm competition occurs in human reproduction.12 It does—every time. A single human ejaculate contains anywhere from fifty million to half a billion applicants all trying to elbow their way into the only job available: fertilizer in chief. The relevant question is whether those applicants are competing against only each other, or billions more eager job-seekers sent by other men as well.
It’s hard to conjure a more purely competitive entity than the human spermatozoa. Imagine a teeming school of microscopic salmon whose entire existence consists in straining upstream toward a one-in-several-hundred-million shot at reproduction. Longish odds, you might say. But not all creatures’ sperm face such overwhelmingly slim chances. In some species of insects, for example, fewer than a hundred sperm line up for the race to the ovum. Nor are all sperm tiny in comparison to him that sent them. Some species of fruit fly have sperm that measure almost six centimeters when uncoiled—several times larger than the fly himself.
| Ape | Human | Chimp/Bo riobo | Orang | Gorilla |
| Body-Size Dimorphism (%) | lS-20 | IS-20 | 100 | 100 |
| Testes Mass (Combined, Absolute, grams) | 35-50 | 11S-160 | 35 | 29 |
| Seminal Volume pci Ejaculate (inL) | 4.25 (2-6.5) | 1.1 | 1.1 | 0.3 |
| Sperm Concentration | ||||
| (XlOVmL) | 1940: 113 1990: 6f» | 548 | 61 | 171 |
| Total Sperm Count"* (Million Sperm/Ejaculate) | 1910: 480 1990: 2S0 | 603 | 67 | 51 |
| Seminal Vesicles | Medium | Large | Large | Small |
| Penis Thickness (Circumference) | 24.5mm | 12mm | n/a | n/a |
| Penis Length | 13-18cmfl | 7.5cm | 4cm | 3cm |
| Penis Length (Relative to Body Mass) | 0.163 | 0.195 | 0.053 | 0.01S |
| Body Mass (Male, kg) | 77 | 46 | 45-100 | 136-204 |
| Copulations per Birth (Approx.) | >1.000 | >1,000 | <20 | |
| Average Copulation Duration (seconds) | 474 | 7/15 | 900 | 60 |
| • significant differences between them in these areas.•* Per ejaculate.ft The coronal rirlge an»l glnns arc unique to humans among ape*. | ||||
Here’s a head-scratcher. Why do so many heterosexual men get off on pornography featuring groups of guys having sex with just one woman? It doesn’t add up, if you think about it. It’s more cone than ice cream. And the suggestive strangeness doesn’t end with the counterintuitive male-to-female ratio; it’s male ejaculate that puts the money in the