‘You must have a bath, Lin. After such a long travel you must be smelling unhappy. Come this way. My sisters have already heated the water on the fire. The pots are ready for your bath. Come.’
We passed through a low arch, and he led me to an area beside the house that was enclosed on three sides by hanging tatami mats. Flat river stones formed a shower base, and three large clay pots of warm water were arranged near them. A channel had been dug and smoothed out, allowing water to run off behind the house. Prabaker told me that a small brass jug was to be used to tip water over my body, and gave me the soap dish.
I’d been unlacing my boots while he spoke, and I cast them aside, threw off my shirt, and pulled off my jeans.
‘Lin!’ Prabaker screamed in panic, leaping, in a single bound, across the two metres that separated us. He tried to cover my body with his hands, but then looked around in anguish to see that the towel was on my backpack, a further two metres away. He jumped for the towel, snatched it up, and jumped back, giving a little shout of panic-
‘Have you gone crazy Lin? What are you doing?’
‘I’m trying to… take a shower…’
‘But like that? Like
‘What’s the matter with you, Prabu? You told me to take a shower. You brought me here to have a shower. So, I’m trying to take a shower, but you’re jumping around like a rabbit. What’s your problem?’
‘You were
‘That’s how I take a shower,’ I said, exasperated by his mysterious terror. He was darting about, peering through the tatami matting at various places. ‘That’s how everyone takes a shower, isn’t it?’
‘No! No! No, Lin!’ he corrected, returning to face me. A desperate expression contorted his normally happy features.
‘You don’t take your clothes off?’
‘No, Lin! This is India. Nobody can take his clothes off, not even to wash his bodies. This is India. Nobody is ever naked in India. And especially, nobody is naked without clothes.’
‘So… how
‘We wear it the underpants, for having a bath in India.’
‘Well, that’s fine,’ I said, dropping the towel to reveal my black jockey shorts. ‘I’m wearing underpants.’
‘
‘Those teeny pieces, Lin? Those are not the underpants. Those are the under-underpants only. You must have it the over-underpants.’
‘The… over-underpants?’
‘Yes. Certainly. Like these, my ones, that I am wearing.’
He unbuttoned his own trousers enough to show me that he wore a pair of green shorts under his clothes.
‘In India, the men are wearing this over-underpants, under their clothes, at all times, and in all the situations. Even if they are wearing under-underpants,
‘No.’
‘Well, just you wait here. I will get you some over-underpants for your bath. But don’t remove your towel. Please! Promise! If the people see you without the towel, in such teeny pieces, they will be like a wild people. Wait here!’
He darted off, and after a few minutes returned with two pairs of red football shorts.
‘Here, Lin,’ he puffed. ‘You are such a big fellow, I hope we can get a good fits. These are from Fat Satish. He is so fat, I think they might fit you. I told him a story, and then he gave it this two pairs for you. I told him that on the journey you had loose motions, and you made such a mess in your over-underpants that we had to throw them away.’
‘You told him,’ I asked, ‘that I shit my pants?’
‘Oh, yes, Lin. I certainly couldn’t tell him that you have no over-underpants!’
‘Well, of
‘I mean, what would he be thinking about you?’
‘Thank you, Prabu,’ I muttered, through clenched teeth. If my tone had been any drier I wouldn’t have needed a towel.
‘That is my pleasure, Lin. I am your very good friend. So please, promise me that you will not be naked in India. Especially not without your clothes.’
‘I promise.’
‘I am so glad you make this promise, Lin. You are my very good friend, too, isn’t it? Now I will take a bath also, like we are two brothers, and I will show you the Indian style.’
