Why? she asked herself. Is it because the Anjin-san's barbarian and you're ashamed that all the world will know you've been possessed by a barbarian? No. All Anjiro knows already and a man is like any other, most of the time. This man is samurai, hatamoto, and Admiral of Lord Toranaga's ships! No, nothing like that.
What is it then?
It's because I found in the night that I was shamed by what Omi-san did to him. As we should all be shamed. Omi-san should never have done that. The Anjin-san is branded and my fingers seemed to feel the brand through the silk of his kimono. I burn with shame for him, a good man to whom that should not have been done.
Am I defiled?
No, of course not, just shamed before him. And shamed before Omi-san for being ashamed.
Then in the reaches of her mind she heard Mama-san saying again, 'Child, child, leave man things to men. Laughter is our balm against them, and the world and the gods and even old age.'
"Kiku-san?"
"Yes, Anjin-san?"
"Now I go."
"Yes. Let us go together," she said.
He took her face tenderly in his rough hands and kissed her. "Thank you. No words enough to thank."
"It is I who should thank you. Please allow me to thank you, Anjin-san. Let us leave now."
She allowed Ako to put the finishing touches to her hair, which she left hanging loosely, tied the sash of the fresh kimono, and went with him.
Kiku walked beside him as was her privilege, not a few steps behind as a wife or consort or daughter or servant was obliged to. He put his hand on her shoulder momentarily and this was distasteful to her for they were not in the privacy of a room. Then she had a sudden, horrible premonition that he would kiss her publicly - which Mariko had mentioned was barbarian custom - at the gate. Oh, Buddha let that not happen, she thought, almost faint with fright.
His swords were in the reception room. By custom, all weapons were left under guard, outside the pleasure rooms, to avoid lethal quarrels with other clients, and also to prevent any lady from ending her life. Not all Ladies of the Willow World were happy or fortunate.
Blackthorne put his swords into his sash. Kiku bowed him through to the veranda, where he stepped into his thongs, Gyoko and others assembled to bow him away, an honored guest. Beyond the gateway was the village square and the sea. Many samurai were there milling about, Buntaro among them. Kiku could not see Omi, though she was certain he would be watching somewhere.
The Anjin-san seemed immensely tall, she so small beside him. Now they were crossing the courtyard. Both saw Omi at the same time. He was standing near the gateway.
Blackthorne stopped. "Morning, Omi-san," he said as a friend and bowed as a friend, not knowing that Omi and Kiku were more than friends. How could he know, she thought. No one has told him - why should they tell him? And what does that matter anyway?
"Good morning, Anjin-san." Omi's voice was friendly too, but she saw him bow with only sufficient politeness. Then his jet eyes turned to her again and she bowed, her smile perfect. "Good morning, Omi-san. This house is honored."
"Thank you, Kiku-san. Thank you."
She felt his searching gaze but pretended not to notice, keeping her eyes demurely lowered. Gyoko and the maids and the courtesans who were free watched from the veranda.
"I go fortress, Omi-san," Blackthorne was saying. "All's well?"
"Yes. Lord Toranaga's sent for you."
"Go now. Hope see you soon."
"Yes."
Kiku glanced up. Omi was still staring at her. She smiled her best smile and looked at the Anjin-san. He was watching Omi intently; then feeling her eyes, he turned to her and smiled back. It seemed to her a strained smile. "So sorry, Kiku-san, Omi-san, must go now." He bowed to Omi. It was returned. He went through the gate. She followed, hardly breathing. Movement stopped in the square. In the silence she saw him turn back, and for a hideous moment, she knew he was going to embrace her. But to her enormous relief he did not, and just stood there waiting as a civilized person would wait.
She bowed with all the tenderness she could muster, Omi's gaze boring into her.
"Thank you, Anjin-san," she said and smiled at him alone. A sigh went through the square. "Thank you," then added the time-honored, "Please visit us again. I will count the moments until we meet again."
