When the trolley stops around the corner, Håkan is up again, standing by the window, peeking out through the space between the shade and the window frame. The first people who come around the corner are two young men who must have jumped off while the trolley was still moving. They are joking around, boxing with each other playfully. Håkan recognizes them as the boys who live in the new house up the street. He can hear the distant chatter from some of the other people who have gotten off the car. When the trolley rattles across Håkan’s street, the headlights clear a path of darkness before it, and small groups of people briefly appear and then scatter back into the darkness in various directions. A man with unsteady steps walks directly toward the entrance to Håkan’s building. With his hat in his hand, he looks like a beggar. But this man is not Håkan’s father. It’s just the janitor who lives in their building.
Yet still Håkan stands and waits. He knows there are enough things around the corner that can hold up a trolley passenger. There are many different shop windows, for instance, like the one at the shoe store. His father may be standing there right now, perhaps picking out a new pair of shoes for himself before he goes home. And the fruit store has a big window, too, with interesting hand-painted signs. Folks usually stop there to look at these signs, because they have such funny little people drawn on them. The fruit store also has a vending machine that’s always stealing people’s money. It’s very likely Håkan’s father has just put a coin in it to buy him some cough drops, and now he can’t get the slot open, of course.
While Håkan stands by the window waiting for his father to tear himself away from the vending machine, his mother suddenly comes out of her room and passes the kitchen. Since she is barefoot, Håkan hadn’t heard anything at first. But she couldn’t have seen him because she moves right on toward the doorway. As his mother looks for something among the coats, Håkan lets go of the shade and stands absolutely still in the total darkness. It must have been a handkerchief she was looking for, because after a short while she blows her nose and heads back to her room. Although she’s barefoot, Håkan notices how she walks very softly, so as not to wake him. When she enters the room she immediately shuts the window and draws the shade with a quick, hard pull. Then she throws herself down on the bed, and the sobbing starts all over again. It’s as if she can’t sob when she’s not in a lying position — either that or she has to start sobbing the moment she lies down.
Håkan looks out at the street one more time and sees that it’s entirely empty except for a woman allowing herself to be caressed by a sailor in the doorway just across the street. So he creeps back to his bed. The sound of the linoleum squeaking under his feet startles him, and he wonders, just for a moment, whether he might have dropped something. He is terribly tired now, and sleep begins to rush over him like a fine mist. As he moves through this mist he catches the sound of steps lumbering on the stairs. But they go in the wrong direction, starting upstairs and then heading downward. As soon as he gets under the blanket, he’s pulled down reluctantly, but swiftly, into the waters of sleep. And as the last waves break over his head, they are as soft as sobs.
At night, all waking thoughts revolve around one thing, one moment. And even Håkan’s deepest sleep is much too fragile to block that one thing out. True, he hasn’t heard the car pull up out front. He hasn’t heard the click of the light switch or the steps in the stairwell. But the key that slides into the keyhole also pokes a hole in Håkan’s sleep. In an instant he’s awake, stricken deep by a flash of delight tingling hot from his toes to his scalp. But the delight disappears nearly as fast as it comes, withdrawing into a cloud of uncertainties.
And so now Håkan plays a little game, another game, that begins every time he wakes up like this. He pretends that his father has hustled through the hallway, that he has come to a halt right between the kitchen and the bedroom, so that both Håkan and his mother will hear him as he speaks up loudly: “There was a guy at work that fell off a scaffold, and I had to take him to the hospital. I’ve been sitting there all night and I couldn’t call because they didn’t have a telephone,” or: “Can you believe it? We just won the lottery! And I’ve been holding out all night just to keep you in suspense!” or: “You’ll never guess what happened! The boss gave me a speedboat today! Can you believe it? I’ve been testing her out, and tomorrow morning we’ll be going for a spin, all three of us. What do you think of that?”
